What am i really thinking? I really got not much idea.

Perhaps over the wk, i am fumed with flames over someone's actions. Somehow i feel like i am juz like a lost bird in perhaps. Yes, from one surface you are real good, helping and assisting. Yet on the other hand, i feel a sense of ignorance from you. Or in fact, it has become a form of ignorance from me? What do you determine the word of responsbility? Being responsive for what you are doing? Acknowledging the work of others? How would you determine?

I am somehow caught in the state of loss. In fact, its also more towards stress as well. The tension is really UP for me. I guess so, cuz its visibly seen by the amount of chocolates that i have been indulgin over the few days. A big bar a day. It gonna kill me sooner or later. Juz like yest, while tryin to catch some sleep, i begin to ponder. Is it necessary for you to be creative in terms of routine in order for pple to acknowledge and respect you and luv your class?

I admit and conclude that i am one who arent creative bah. My routine more or less is based on hard work and try an error. From small bit to here n dere and i figure things out on my own. How do you define what is called a creative routine? I dont know. You say its complicated but no explanation said. But thanks for the feedback. While seeing how others go, i knoW i am really different from them. In many ways, but 1 thing for sure i know I AM NOT GIVIN UP ON MYSELF.

I were sharing with Vanessa about me teachin 3 days of HILO in 4 days at the same venue. How would others see me? Most of them might be different members, but there are some who are same too. I make my best effort by changin abit here n there of my routine jz to ensure i dun get bored out of it. I also tried changing it every single wk. But what are all these for? Myself? The members? Or who??? I dunoe..... but then i am still trying and trying....

Everytime i make up my decision, something jz hit me and stop my path. Went to thomson today in a down mood after all the thinking... but the sunday class is alive once again. They really know hw to brighten me up and cheer me up. Really gotta thank them. I guess so.

Would you rather want your routine to be simple, ur members smiling and able to do it easily? Or would you prefer your routine to be complicated, but can follow, yet with a bit of difficulty?
Or would you prefer your routine to be creative, yet only a minority of the members can follow and do well?
Where would you want to place yourself to be? Are you asking these questions to urself? Its not easy to create a routine that is simple, creative, yet it also adds in elements of complications and members can do well. Seeing the members smile, seeing the members shout and scream and communicate with you during the class is really a different experience. But how can u really get to do this? How?

School school school... wat the hell is school....... another 15mths of endurance.. another 15 months of pondering... another 15 mths of waiting...... i hope my patience can last me till now...... my mind is mixed up......

i dun feel like goin anywhere..... i jz wanna be to myself.. and be quiet bah..... i hate the feeling of such once again........subdue me if u can....................................

I WANNA BE ALIVE ONCE AGAIN!!! HABEN TINK OF NEW ROUTINE AND MOVES>>>>> DAMN SIANZ>>> SHIT.... TMR HOW???