Wohoooooooooooooooooooooooooo...................... my exams have ended... officially ended...... I am so so so happy.....

Exams.. today paper.. i dunoe leh.. half half... in fact i jz aimin for a pass nia... cuz its my faculty or graduation requirement module.... then finish slightly early and i am off to amore... wohooo.....

Haha.. reach too early ah.. nothin to do.. walk around.. buy food to eat... and tie handwraps... chat with B..... haha... he is laggin ah.. in his song list..... then nt much ah... and time for KB le... again... being "played" on... we shout until voiceless..... and sometimes off key.. diaoz......

yah... then off to mit someone.... then nothin else better to do.. plant myself in the library for 1.5hr before mitin my mum... not bad ah.. keep reading alot on those stuffs.... must be more prepared in some way.....

anyway i am ponderin to work or not to work...... sianz diao....

He is back.... finally... someone who could motivate me.... and i am damn tired just after the warm up... i feel so nua.... so tired and tired and tired..... dunoe why.. only tis person can make me so tired......
anyway, once again i am so happy... cuz i can do Jet's moves for the whole 1 hr... so happy.. esp. the zig-zag movement, can get the move le... nw jz left perfection... wohoo... so happy...

but then i am tired.. but tmr gt exams.. its the last paper... wish me luck.... gtg.. buai

good and superb saturday.. i jz luv GE2218 and prof. tc. chang..... cuz he gave me the confidence in my paper... the 1st paper that i ever took in tis semester where i can do... write freakin 12 pages long essay for 3 questions... thankfully yest nite there wasnt any KB class.. if nt i do not know how to write....

feel so happy tat i was really smiling up upon stepping out from the exam hall..... and went to bugis..... and another good news... today i did not encounter any difficulty in jet's step.... damn happy that i am able to follow fro the top till the end.... he ah... super tired ah.. keep yawning.. really pity him.... today is the last time i can attend sat classes before i go for 1 mth away...... quite a gd class..... and i prayin hard that carmela wun share this stupid luffin thing of me to the rest of the instructors.... i always have weird moves in her BEB.... today gt a turn.. hahA... end up i did the kind of turn that i always did in Bong's class... diaoz.... she uses the mic and says... movement must be graceful.... must be more feminine... then ask the class to repeat it.. for the sake of me... but i tink the class dunoe she is talkin to me via the mic... damn paiseh.. but lucky after tat i manage to get the move..... though i still cant get the hips movin up movement loh... argh.....

btw cali. is bad.... i almost signed up with them.. but then i discover my financial bank is not enough... unless i really go to work.... perhaps i need to tink of a solution.... tis is quite bad lah..... i am runnin out of cash.....

but then my greatest worry right now is still sasha..... she makin me super worriied.... really worried for her condition..... i do not know is it due to his remarks when they have lunch over the sat, over the plate of food or what.... but then she has been super moody over the issue since then..... hope she really takes very very very gd care of herself.... *showers her with all the luvs*

Thank you sasha..... u really surprised me with ur presence... hahA..... muacks muacks....
i had a nightmare yest.... very shockin nightmare... i dreamt that i almost exploded... tis nightmare is so scary till i manage to wake up and go to jenni's class...

i surprised her with my presence also.. cuz it has been more than half a yr since i go to bugis class.... so yah.. i am there.... and had fun in her class... seriously.. after attendin jet's step and bong's one... hahA.... then then....

and went over to woodlands to study... wah... lib. damn nice place to sleep lah.... cannot get my brains to study.... jz feel like sleepin loh..... so then i msg sasha before i gt the surprise...
seriously dunoe why... whenever i see her, i damn happy... can kill all my worries... i dunoe hw i can make her happy sia.. i dunoe.... but i hope when she sees me, she will be happy.. hope my laughters will brighten her up..... and i know tis sun is one of the days... hehe.... a secret that we two share...

anyway gtg.. tmr 9am gt paper.... diaoz....

Ahhhhhhhhhh... seriously i dunoe wat to blog for these few days... really nothin for me to blog though..... i dunoe what i am up to lah...... seriously nope... but there are always these few pple who make me very happy...... esp. sasha, instructors..... and also rachel though i din get to see her....

wooh... i am damn happy today... for the fact i feel that i have upgraded in jet's steps... so happy for it... cuz i can follow the moves..... wohoo...... and then i have some sort found myself a tutor for practicals... theory part... i will still find the usual 3 musketeers ah.. they cant run away... cuz i am filled with questions to the brim...... hahA... so fast time flies, in 4 days time, my exams will end.. and i am a freebird.... so happy loh.....

btw my uncle still in hospital.. jz nw gt 2 jabs due to giddyness.... and my ah ma jz had operation too.... hopsital visits along the way.....woo..... hope all recover fast..... i always hate to visit hospital... cuz i am scared to see some stuffs lah.....

ok.. tats abt it..... darlings all... pls take lotsa lotsa care..... love yall all....
*no matter how far it is, u have already climbed the hill. Its time for u to go for the mountain and reach to the peak*...... dun be discouraged or trashed down by the errors. Its over. We cant amend it. Tink of the upcoming situation and work hard towards it. I dun ask for more, but i cant demand less either.

Supposed to wake up this mornin to go to jenni's pilates... but then i woke up at 9.15am..... when the class is at 9.30am.... diaoz.... so tired.... had not been able to sleep well recently.... bcos of exams stress.... will be back to normal after exams...

went back to NUS... to find my fav. lecturer.. TC Chang..... finally he is back from San Franciso conference... managed to get the handout that was given out on the friday when none of my group members turn up for the lecture.. so paiseh to see him.... when he goes all out to help us to retrieve the project... anyway i am amazed when i stepped into his office... It jz feel so homely... and so cosy.. and its so neat..... and a nice fragrance smell with dim lights.... as usual, his nice and soft tone spoking voice.... took the copy, zap it and return back to him.... and then

went over to suntec to check out the nike sales... nothin to buy.. nothin to see.... all sold there are things that pple dun wan loh..... then sianz.... wanted to go over to parkway to study... RAIN!!!!!! kns..... so stucked in suntec for lunch... i feel so guilty.... today i ate 1 cheese cake, 1 chocolate indulgence, 1 choc. ice blend and 1 pasta...... sinful.. real sinful.... but no choice ah... i jz like it...

anyway... gd gd and bad bad news.. i got my IT SHOW pay... not a big sum.. but enough to cover the remaining AMore payment and purchase a pair of NIKE shoes..... and i am broke again......

urm..... cheryl's class... not bad ah...she uses Bong's corny move loh... the comb hair move..... slow slow, fast fast fast fast one...... but then the creator still does it better... cuz none of the members can really do it ah.... KB.... everythin lumped into 1...... and hor.. cheryl discovered my knee cap injury.... which is so bad..... but then she also nt tat gd.... i tink she pulled her thighs muscles when performing a side kick..... diaoz..... then we say both pull all the guards.. hahA....

seeing her tmr... today she tailor the KB class for me.. so happy loh... and then more news on the way ah...

For once i really feel like cryin.... sad... moody... down....
Sorry..... I made u all worry for me again....
Mind blank.. cant crap.. cant do.. emptiness....
Marketing paper... supposed to be my strength
Turned out to be worst..
One topic never really touch...
Came out as essay qn of 22 marks...
And more to come...
I really feel sad
I really feel moody
I really feel sick
I really feel bad

---------------------------------------
10mins after typin tis entry... i cried for the 1st time in 2007. I really dont feel good... tears jz roll down naturally.... sianz... dun follow my steps... i tink i have over-stressed myself..... i am off..

I shall sleep and sleep and sleep.. hope i can forget all these unhappiness.... hope tmr i wake up, i will be fine and better...

I FEEL LIKE DOING KICKBOXING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kick away all my worries...

Sick
-------
I feel so sick out of sudden. These few days had nt been sleepin well. I believe its the stress level in my mind then.... keepin me so lost.... for example... i tried to sleep at 1plus last nite... but then toss and turn toss and turn.... and worst till wake up at 7am with a headache...

things dun end so fast.... and nt long later i discovered that i got sore eye...... on my right.... my mum told me too heaty le.... need to drink more liang cha.... so i tink i need to bottle up all these bitter tea again.. sianz...

no appetitite... no mood.. and i got exams later.... i feel so shitty out of sudden.... just feel damn weak, damn sick and dun feel good...

How fun could it be when you are with your loved ones on a sunday?
Went for the morning workout... a kickboxin session... with sasha.... haHA... always feel so happy whenever i see her... really loh... hahA.. she really brightens my day up..... it was indeed a super duber good session... cuz we know that today tat session is the only class that we are going.. so decided to go all out fro the start.... hahA... and we can see that both of us are motivating one another.. esp. towards the end.... hahA... we are puttin in 101% of energy.. but then the last round never seems to end...

went for lunch at subway... and we are at suntec.. tinkin i got marketing paper at tmr to crap.. yet i am outside ah.... went to see a performance in suntec.. by our lovely instructors... bong, cheryl and desiree... wohoo.. they are there to perform kickboxing ah.... didnt get a chance to see them perform before.. so jz go loh......

spectacular shall be the word to describe their performance.... they are the 1st club to perform.... good intro... nice music and demo... good execution... hahA... gt to put up a show ah.... act as a public.. and go on stage and do the moves... diaoz... but fun session ah.. haha

after their performance, is cali. performing.... alamak.... i dun wanna comment... they do hip hop and combat..... i would say disappointed bah... haha.... esp. the guys.... eeeeeeeeeeee... they are now being X from my list....... cannot make it........ tinkin we are annoyed by their sales staffs.. and nw their performance team.... i gt no comment... even i can really dare to say... i can do better than them in the combat/kickboxin segment...... they dun have the "say" lah.... other than the knee up..... and jumpin kick never do... diaoz.....

we din stay on to watch PF perform... cuz slightly later... so went to study... haHA.. starbucks... tinkin u are friends... yet we are sittin at two tables..... for the reason: we will sure crap and crap when we see one another... haha... nt bad ah.....

really thanks to tis ger loh.. she really has the ability to make me smile.... hahA... i still remember the joke that i told the PF sales consultant... "oh yah.... we are from two separate schools.,.... nus and ntu....."..."so how did u two know one another?".... obviously only 1 club has the POWER to do so.... that other clubs cant... but i jokingly say..." no lah, the two of us met one another of the street and i say hi to her and know lah..."..... haha.....

okie.. off to mug... haha..... tmr paper.. mkting... abit crappy.. abit shitty.... but i will try my best.. very best...

Its such a crappy sat
-----------------------

Its really A CRAP SAT...... morning got exams... then bcos i didnt have enough sleep.. so went to school in a blur state... alamak.. tink we got influenced le... "I did went to sleep early.. 1am... but then i also wake up repeatedly in the nite..."...... before 7am... reached my house MAC.. studied and eat MAC..... and off school... paper... CRAP!...... asked some qns that i din read up... which involved "what does this person talk in which speech on what day?"......

and again.. NUS is super wols in collecting paper... took more than 20mins to collect.. by then i am hungry like mad.... so dun care le... once i gt out of school... buy food to eat..... super hungry.... dry cough back.... went to get some cough sweets ah..... but i tink bcos i shout too much.. end up abit no voice soon....

but i tink i dun have enough sleep.. so regardless hw much i eat.. i still feel very hungry... had been havin tis "illness" for the past few days.... which is OH MAN...... stretchfit today was hell... i wasnt able to concentrate... other than for my hungryness, my right knee cap loosened............. obviously i am not to myself... cuz i also never smile........ and left PM directly straight after the class.....

cuz i am hungry again... went to bugis to makan........ and bought a pair of pink gloves.. diao... can seek attraction.... blast....11 pple lah... but then tis class cant afford to have so many members.. u wun learn.. and when ur partner cant hold... u cant kick.. so 80% i am eatin snake.... the other 20 percent occur when i partner chris to demo each combi to the others.... and my head gt hit once by cthe padding.. where kick is fro hris... cuz i din hold properly.....

pilates and beb... pretty fun ah...... perhaps the next thing i will conquer in my holidays is BEB...... but then i am a person not born to dance and move naturally... so................. i tink its really hard for me lah.. mayb u will jz still a "mu tou ren" dancing.... had almost a 30 to 45mins chat with mel...... need to enquire some stuffs mah....

then i am home for a nap.. but got bitten by mosquito while sleeping... tink the perfumed tee ah.... too sweet that attract the mosquito.....tonite muggin for my mkt paper... jiayou le beh...

I Cant wait for tmr.... cuz gt my darling sasha....... haha.... oh yah... she really gave me a shock today... i meant surprise... she gt me a bottle of luo han guo drink.. n i only find it when i reach bugis when i saw the sms... hw dumb could i be............... despite i dun drink bitter drink.. but then bcos of her.... hahaa.... i force the whole bottle down my throat.....

Lonely yet happy
--------------------
Almost thought i will be very alone today for classes..... bcos my darlings... rachel is still sick.. and sasha.. gt exams.... drag myself to house.. but thanks goodness.. saw the regulars.... but regardless what.. without these 2.. i wun be to myself ah... nt that enjoyable... esp. when others ask me where are the other two...

today afternoon High_low..... ok bah.... other than someone fall off the stage. but thanks goodness no injury or stuff.... and look real tired.... can see from the eyes.... not much laughter in the class.... everything jz like that.....

then had lunch with claudia and her fren.. talked abt AIC... alamak.. they two scarin me a little.... so scary ah.... and i had made payment for AIC course also.. $965...... a big hole burnt....... studied awhile... talked to jenni.. who is present to replace carmela... and heard that mel is injured... jialat....

went alone to kovan... msg sasha along the way.....kb alone shouting..... damn sianz.. finally understand the feelings of how sasha feel in EP... space constraint.. cannot do alot of things.... and no "bonus track".......

then steps.... suddenly door opened... saw a familiar face... sasha.. so glad to see her.. despite she nt feeling ok....... hope she will be fine.... but then i seriously enjoy tis evening steps class.... mayb is no difficulty in doin all the moves.. and i really love it loh.... can see his efforts being put in.... in doin up the routine...... *applause to him*........

today i am happy ah... overall... cuz u all make me smile so happily... u all know who u r..... thank you.. i am off to mug.... tmr gt paper.... haha....

Everything seems quite alrite for all the classes... and my studies too... but i feel alittle troubled in some way....

tis morning woke up... i dunoe why.... i took 15mins and examine myself.... suddenly after yest. yoga lesson, i feel that i had bulked up.... esp. on my biceps.. its firm... but its scary... really terrible... tried nt to see... but then.... *argh*..... then went down to bugis... saw cheryl... she gave me the same comment as well.... say that it looked firm.. but bulked up le... sianz liao... then still ask me to stop cardio.. sayin enough le.. and like tat...

sianz diaoz.... after exams i am goin to reschedule all my classes..... mayb should change back to the 3 pounds weights instead of the 4 pounds... but then i feel nothin while using 3 pounds.... or mayb i should stop goin for yoga? but then, i do feel the strong benefits of yoga too.......... argh......
s...
jz hope all these end fast... really..... studies likewise, doin quite fine.... everythin almost on track bah..... tmr is braincells killin day.....

jz gt money fro parents... which is enough for AIC..... can settle part of my burden.... haix.......

*vampire owl is away. flying flying.... alone in the sky........................................

Wednesday
-------------
QUite a fruitful wednesday... after studyin till 3 am plus at yest nite.. i woke up at 9plus in the morning... bought breakfast for myself and my mum.... and began my marathon studyin... perhaps i must thank my secondary school teacher for teachin me to do speed writing... that is why i am able to complete 6 chapters of notes within a short period of time... but then my hand aches alot.....

went for david's yoga again... urm... today's one was much better.... nt so much aching.. cuz i really get to stretch every single part of the body..... and we have completed warrior 1 2 3 4 5..... i never knew the warrior series is so much.... hahA..... and then gt tested on my flexibility again... diaoz.....

and think the yoga had really improved my stretching... proven during stretch fit..... was able to do better right now....

alamak... he was still sick... tink he is more sick tis time round.... had a towel around him... can sense his coldness.. and also saw his puffy swollen eyes.. tink he caught a bad flu..... jialat... once again sense his panting....somehow i tink his is just not fever ah.. must more serious... called "mo dan".... talked to my mama about it... they suggest he should make a visit to the hospital... esp. the fever is so long le..... later affect the brains then jialat.... haix...

kb.. routine pretty ok ah... but quite angry with myself.. for missing the two repeated descending elbow when bong places his hand down.... miss repeatedly... argh..... but today i am happy for my kicks... real flexible till the kick extended very well......

aiya.... i dunoe hw to comment.... cuz things do not seem to go very right at times..... tmr is thursday.. but i worry also.... alot of things to worry.... my right knee givin way again... so shitty... then my exams.. my darlings... him.. and almost everything... argh...

mugging
------------
Sitting inside the school computer lab
alone studying
then comes a few idiots
two guys includin 1 top student
bragging out aloud
claimin 7 modules and etc
talkin damn loud

shutting my ears with my mp3 player
blasting all the "music"
and then here comes another ger
taking out her make up kit
and applying powder on her face
and right in front of a monitor

then in less than 15mins later
another guy sat two seats away fro me
singing loudly
tinkin i am blastin my music
and i can still hear him singing
wat the...

wonder what are all these pple up to...............

i need to mug damn hard
past 2 wks been muggin for bec
slight reading on nus exams
tis sat and cumin mon got paper..
and i feel kinda lost
despite its essay which i can crap
but then
things are always hard to say

went down to woodlands amore
new routine by cheryl
new cool down by cheryl
everyone doin double kick right now
bong doing double side kick
cheryl doing double roundhouse kick
donald doing double kick.. dunoe which kind
definitely not double back kick...
quite a gd workout...
only attend 1 class nia....
off i came back..

sasha, i know u r mugging hard too. Jiayou wor.... dun worry so much ah... i believe all things will turn out well..... nxt wk we can get to mug harder... before goin full force out.... rachel... poor ger who is so ill... must then work hard for bec..... hope she can take the aic course with me as well.... okie.... everyone jiayou ah.. esp. those muggers.......

BEC Exam
-------------
Oooh... today i had attended only 2 classes, Hip hop and Kickboxing as i am havin exams in the evening.. Hip hop... replaced by Bong... urm... having both two sided feedbacks on his class then.... 1st timer attempt in teaching i will say its indeed a good try indeed. But regardless how good an instructor is, there is definitely some room for replacement....

then abit shocked when buddy rachel is feeling super unwell.. 1st time ever see her in such a bad condition... frightened me out of my wits though... doin KB still tinkin abt her..... hope she is real fine....

BEC exams.... ahem.. thanks to all the good wishes and huggies from my loved ones...... really loved them.. exams... hehe.. good news for yall.... the paper was pretty OK. i tink i am able to attempt 85% to 90% of the paper...... so shouldnt be a big problem in passing..... then AIC on the way... and i gt a sad news...

I WUN BE ABLE TO ATTEND SAT ClASSES FOR THE WHOLE OF MAY 2007. And i also discovered that last sat is the last sat also.. cuz these 2 sat i got school exams... so so so so the sad!!! *sobz*...... but then AIC is also very much important to me. I wanna perform well in it. Aww..... SO many classes cannot attend.... sad sad... but what to do.....

Once again, i woke up late. chiong cab down for classes... diao... usual routine...... but its fun..... and he is addin in the double-kick (not bullet kick, its the machine kick as denoted by Bong)..... in the nxt lesson or nxt nxt... and he says we will progress further.. haHA... keep insistin that it could be achieved....

tired ah.....

commotion is jet in perhaps.. haha.. excuses excuses in explaining himself of why he is nt takin the sunday NB class... haha... tat was like damn funni....... but he is a crappy and fun-goin person ah... and very helpful.. answer my questions for BEC... and use illustrations to explain the details for me.... could see his passion ah.....

Steps... haha.. very happy today... cuz i manage to do it.. despite some flaws.. and till nw i dunoe the zig-zag thing ah... see until i blur... try and error also wrong..... diao..... nvm. practice makes perfect....

anyway reflectin back... need to change my amore schedule abit.. cuz pilates nw also uses dumbbells and gymstick... cannot have so many toning... makin my forearms ache... so jialat.... but then i like pilates so much.... ahem.. need to work something out.....

Thoughts of the day:
I find out then when i am alone, i tend to tink alot... Really alot. Can imagine all sorts of things happening... includin in myself.... out of sudden....... but i am real glad to have buddies... esp. tmr exams.. all wishin me luck.. thanks.. muacks.....

still keepin tis blog private to a number of pple..... till nw i tryin to hide here n there.... studyin hard.. after tmr BEC exams... must mug hard for tis wkend exams.... jiayou..

I dunoe why.... no reason.. dunoe... but then tonite i feel like cryin for no reason.... i am nt sad... i am nt worried.. but 2nite... i jz dun feel that rite.... jz wanna let go.... and have a gd cry.... haix...... i dunoe ah... crap again...i know i am alrite... thats it...... Very ALRITE!!!! Nothing can ever beat havin frenzs around u....Nothing beats to have comfort....

I dunoe why i am not happy
I dunoe why i am moody
I dunoe why i cant smile
I dunoe why
I dunoe

Perhaps its the tension
Perhaps its the nervousness
Perhaps its the pressure
Perhaps it is that
Perhaps

My dad nags at me on the way back jz nw...
He knows i get anxious and worried when exams are cumin
He knows i wun get to have enough sleep in the nite
He knows i will fall sick around tis corner

My mum nags at me at her workplace just now
She tells me not to spend too much time in amore
She tells me to focus on my studies
She tells me amore is impt, but studies also

I nag at myself tooI tell myself to spend more time with loved ones
I tell myself to treasure myself
I tell myself to love myself
I tell myself to be strong

I am alrite
I am really alrite
I am doin fine
I am doin very fine

Classes enjoying it silently
Blast shown improvement as said by Chris
Belly blitz havin improvement too
Pilates carmela asks me for my scolosis issue again
Stretch-fit balancing better
But then, injury seems to be on the way
Here pain, there ache
And rest more, ache further
Argh

Saying i am not worried i am deceiving myself
Saying i am over-concerned
In perhaps i am
But seeing the pale face
Seeing the tolerating of pain
Hearing the panting
I am quite worried though
Though i know he is controlling, i hope he will recover soon

P.S: Sorry for making Sasha and Rachel to be worried. Erm, seriously i am not sad bcos of him ah.... I am just lacking of sleep badly.... cumin to exams, usually i cant sleep. Thats why i will look more like a stone-fish. He didnt affect me that much cus i can see that he is trying his every best, esp. in getting sufficient rest, eating more and etc.

Just known my project grades... B-.... erm... alittle disappointed though..... could have done so much better..... left 2 more reports grades to get back.... hope its of better grade ah..... 4 school exams plus 1 BEC exam cumin up.

Cumin Mon BEC Exam
Cumin Sat Social Work Exam
Next mon Marketing Exam
Next Sat Tourism Exam
Next Next mon Nature of Language Exam

After that, holidays.... nononono....
1st wk of May... Beginning of AIC course!!! and i gonna miss sat morning classes.... plus our gathering makan session.. aww....

Tired
---------
I dunoe why am i so tired.. actually is nt tired.. is aching... and worst still today i din do any cardio.. can u imagine a day whereby weishi did nt do KB.. haha... today is the day...
anyway quite a gd start.... morning went back for final mkt1003 tutorial... then go amore.. reach slightly early.. and saw a tired uncle.... poor thing ah... wanted to pass him the drink.. but diao.... he jz disappeared... then chat with claudia...

she quite funni loh... i tell her i cant find uncle.. she went to call him.. hahA.. and funni joke sia... haha.... dun wan say...... then had lunch together.... and he jz look so restles.. but as usual.. crapping.. and askin me hw is my preparation for BEC exam.. haha... so concerned... why am i nt anxious or nervous? oops.... but anyway, i am doin quite fine for the course..... so no worries.. and also my exams.....

i tink all of us are nt ourselves at today 1pm class.... as usual ah.. instructor swaying... we are also swaying... everything jz dun look gd... saw uncle struggling ah... and he even says tis while we are waitin for the lift " now i also panting.... diaoz.. standin oreadi pant, hw to take class..".... anyway he knows when he cant take it.... he will stop and rest.. and if really cannot, will inform the members..... and thanks goodness managed to find replacement... and then all of us cancel the evening classes.. oops.. 5 vacancies up for grab....

haha... stayed on in PM..... HANS makaning.... then went back.. donald last class.. so sad..... attended... and then stayed on to study for BEC.. yeah... studied quite alot.. did my drawing... looks so much better now..... and 1st time attend mummy jenni beb... haha..... nt bad... rather fun... but her moves graceful.... nt like cheryl they all sharp and acute de.... haha.. see everyone lost together so fun... haha...

and then home sweet home.. tired.....

Stubborness
----------------
Are people born stubborn? Or they are up to no choice to be stubborn. Or had they drunk alot milk and become like a cow which is so stubborn. Everything jz go smoothly.... other than till the end of the day..... concentration lost... or the focus is jz on one area.......

i dunoe whether the concern that is shown by us is too much or what? but we are really concerned and worried for u though. A responsible person, out to have no choice..... regardless what have happened...... u are still available... but u just seem to be a little kid..... someone who is so stubborn..... and so lost in ur own life...... hope u know the best out of all....

P.S.: Despite i may be worried over the whole incident, but ultimately i know something out of it..... choose the right path... if nt..... i dunoe le ah.... = )

Thoughts of the day:
Somehow i just feel there is a drift and a part among them...... i feel pitiful for them.... to be honoured or to be regarded uniquely..... i am speechless.... i just know that living each and every day is what i need to do now....= )

Sick and Injured
---------------------
Alamak, i dun feel very good though.. especially in a physical manner..... What actually went wrong... i tink is the air refresher..... thinkin i am fine from morning all the way till early afternoon..... but then....

3.30pm i attended david's yoga... finally... after 6 mths... i manage to attend his class..... last time was bcos his class was too late ah..... anyway..... the class was a beginner class as he jz started takin the class permanently 2 wks ago.... he lived up to my expectations... its nt really a yoga class...... more towards like a flexibility stretching class to me... and it REALLY MAKE me STRETCH! He saw me pretty much flexible, so pushes me over the limit. For example, while others may need to warm up before doin a split..... and i am able to do a split normally.... he came up to me and do something UNUSUAL. While performing a split, body straighten up, i am told to pull my right leg up, with my left/right hand holding to the leg.... alamak.. tis is the very 1st time i really tried yoga.. and he did tat to me..... but thankfully he assisted me ah..... and guided me.. the class was very much fun... and i really enjoy it very much..... the 1.5hr is very deserving...... will be back nxt wk... hope he will nt TEAR me up into pieces again.......

but then.. something nt very right with my wrist lah...... actually nt wrist... i know its the muscle group called "metacarpals"...... feeling alittle pain and numb... by NB class, it stretches to my entire forearm... fully numb.... and i begin to shiver in coldness.... tat was the very 1st time i did nt perspire during the NB and Stretchfit... somethin jz nt right... so afraid that i may collapse or faint suddenly... so i relaxed down the pace...... but i am very sensitive to perfume and air refresher.... esp. the strong one... during stretchfit.... i was sittin quite near to a pillar with the air refresher... shit loh.. the spray...... and then someone's perfume as well... i tink i know who is the person... very strong....

everythin didnt go right.. even till KB..... i am tryin my very best to look good.. tryin hard to perspire... but then even till warm up finished... i still tryin damn hard....... i jz dun feel very well... hand numb...... ankle pain...... slight flu..... jz feel damn bad and weak right now..... maybe visitin a doc tmr morning..... hopefully all things go well......

THoughts of the day: When someone wishes u luck. you would be happy right....... yah... tats the feeling of it...... And then... the 3 of us are either injured or sick.... hope we faster recover and get well..... love ya....

A super retarded tuesday
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I really feel super retarded at today..... in all the amore classes tat i have attended from morning till the nite.... argh.... so angry and pissed off with myself......

firstly for pilates, i am almost late.. then worst till.... i lost my dyna-band... then had to get new one... then nvm... new band.. then it was slippery.. and keep snappin off in class.. created a commotion.. and donald has to remind me askin me to be careful in not hurtin myself......wasnt concentratin well.. bcos half the time i am workin with the band.....

nvm.. thought things will get better during HL when Bong takes over... but even worse... i cant find myself at the right place and a right timing..... i feel so stiff throughout the whole session.. and i keep forgetting the moves.. and resulted in pple doin the wrong moves with me.... and then the moves jz did not come out naturally... argh.. so mad with myself...... and then gt to rush off to school....

School part.... i like loh.. cuz we play the pyramid game.. and i helped my team to score alot of points... haha..... nt bad... did my mini-revision of the tourism module.. quite useful.. and he taught us a method in rememberin part.. haha.. i goin to play tis on rachel on fri.....

then went to study.. damn tired... hoggin here and there.......

then back to woodlands.. only stayed on for cheryl kickboxin.... argh.... these pple jz like to cramp at the front.. behind so much spaces dun wan to move.... end up i also no mood... and then my ankle... since yest steps..... still hurt... hope it gets well fast....

haix... jz feel damn retarded ah... hope all things improve by tmr.....

Urm.... had a very good sleep last nite.. which is long enough to recover my bones and muscles.... morning had to go down to sim lim square to teach a junior of mine in selling lcd monitors..... so long never coach pple le... and someone the company in crisis now.. not financially.. but in promoters and in the outlet that i am working in.... Everyone askin where am i... and askin when i would be back to work..... oops.. tis is freakin bad ah......

And then off to Donald class... did the same thing... good routine... everythin doin very fine... tryin hard to perfect the jumping back thrust.... hope i can do it much better... though i manage to get the move le..... In fact before Donald's class, i can go for J's class... but i dily-daly till i cannot make it.... very bad ah... but the impression changes till i no heart to go.....

Class ended.. saw an sms.... and without tinkin further.... we decided to head down to Bugis for the Jetty class... oops.. he change name again... but then i saw someone in Park Mall..... haha.. i saw "uncle".... oops... did i jz call him uncle.... no choice then..... he is dressed in smart formal ah.... tink he jz came fro a miting... met up with donald before goin back to HQ..... haha... i only remembered sayin a Big HI to him at the counter... and then he asked me two questions... 1st one: Are you done for the day? and How is ur BEC studying coming by?
End up, he knew i am goin for Jet's classes... and becoming my angel in explainin the BEC questions that i am in doubt... Dunoe why, seems that he is one of those whom i can get to understand what he is tryin to explain.....

We almost thought that Jet is conductin a begineer step class instead of the SS... haha... it was like so unusual of his usual style ah.... but SB is slightly better.. but he still decrease the standard.. and then... i fall fro the steps.. almost twisted my ankle.. thankfully i din ah..... and the fall was so graceful once again that no sound was created..... *reminded me of my previous fall*......

Didnt go for jenni mummy class...... must repay back on thurs ah... oops..... back to my academic studies le... woohooooo.....

A marathon session
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Erm..... i thought i almost run a marathon over the wkend. For jz some reasons though........ wkend burnt out.... sianx.. tryin to catch up on my studies.. exams cumin ah... then at the same time.. quite a number of things happen...... classes fun.. enjoying....

hope my darling is feelin better.. dunoe wat happen.... but i hope she gets out of the dark alley soon..... want to see her smile more naturally.... be happy... smile... = )

~Buddies~

Buddies affect me greatly, especially their moods. IF i find them unhappy, i will feel unhappy too. If they are happy, automatically i will be happy too. I am an emotional person. I get affected damn easily. Recently, quite a number of cases happen ah.... i guess we know ah.... and when we r sad or so, and gt affected by one another.. we indulge in our enemy called chocolates...

Anyway i really enjoy myself alot.... really..... esp. in attendin with pple that i like..... hahA.. today's CB.. haha.. we jz transformed ourselves into monkey gods.... hahA..... one particular movement... oops.. i got do ah.. so..... hahA..... the class was fun.. manage to do up the moves.....

lunch.... funni like mad also..... gt someone rushin away fro class, jz to go order the breakfast set that ends at 1130am... gt someone tryin to take fotos and end up commentin its time wasting... gt someone who is so enthu in teasin pple.. and definitely gt someone who is also smiling quietly and askin serious qns.... haha....

then stretchfit... today change in some sequencing... and new moves.. draw number 8 in 1 move... haha.... and i manage to do flamingo and eagle in a more stable position.. so happy loh....

then blast ah.... as usual.. i need to find new partner in some way.. cuz i have been injuring the same ger... felt so bad... cuz now i hardly give way to her for my kicks.. i jz go all in... but still gt.. i scare she fly away.. mayb i should jz go find donald.. and ask him once to join the class... i wanna see his real skills though.....

i flew back today.. back to PM.. for someone's kb... hahA... so great to be back with my darlings... love them so much.. despite the class only the 4 of us shouting.. but we are loving it.... alot of times.. jz we all leadin..... din put in 100% effort.... cuz alittle tired..... and my knee cap goin loose le..... which is like so so so so shitty.....

tmr more things on hand... hahA... update more..

Good fri... is it a gd fri to me? appeared so though my heart and soul were nt really intact.....

went early to teach someone HL movements... but somehow..... ok lah.... i seem to able to interpret wat the class is goin to be taught later... he did the movements that i taught the ger... but apparently, sometimes things may nt be so easy to be learnt.... minimum comments on it..

HL.... i dunoe ah... i was really enjoyin myself...... tink nxt time i goin to plant myself to the front.... tink i need to be with my darlings before i can really enjoy myself... jz felt so lonely standin at the back... haix.... wth......

Met up with benedict, qy and feifei for a lunch.. unhealthy lunch though... we ate manhatten and the gelare ice-cream..... also bought liang cha..... a very very gd chat.. as usual with the teasin and stuffs.....

but my mind seem to be drifting.... argh..... tinkin of wat man.... jz felt things were nt that rite.... may need more encouragement fro more pple though.. in order to motivate myself further...... feeling lonesome suddenly....
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nxt week more things cumin up soon.... injured here n there.. and my ah ma goin for liver operation too.... then my house.... mama always gt headache...... makin me abit nutty.... until i have been indulgin myself with chocs.... haix....

*Huggies*
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Every thursday, i always looked forward to.... but exceptionally today, its wasnt as wonderful as usual..... glad that i am able to keep up with the steps for this morning Steps class..... but things wasnt doin quite well though... my knee joint is loose again.. can hear sound... *shucks*..... afternoon class..... and evening class... dun really want to comment...... not bcos its not gd lah.... somehow i am affected by something.... or someone..... *argh*.... how is tis unhappy instinct comin back again? And suddenly i am penniless..... so broke... gt 2 letters today... from M1 and Singtel... another $200 bucks goin to be gone.... i need to ask my parents for money le.... if nt i cant go for AIC..... SHIT..... feel so useless suddenly..... dun wan to work, yet no money... and blah blah blah..... *sobs*

Some reasons to be happy
-----------------------------
There are some reasons that i ought to be happy at today...... firstly, i went back to NP with feifei to makan.... a good lunch ah..... we ate malay food.... perhaps its one of the best in canteen 1.... good chat too... haha...

2nd issue is gettin back the results for my english project.. remember i said before that i have never see a Letter A for any UNI project... surprisingly our EL1101E project, the module which my test i gt 15/20.... i got an A (80/100) out for it. Was happy to see it. Applause to my group.... and feel happy that it could pull up my grades ah.... i only want a Pass for this module.. so that i can clear my exposure....

The third issue is i feel so happy that everyone is so concerned for me abt the BEC course, esp. the pple who know that i am taking, including the instructors. Everyone trying their best to help me ah. Got my buddy Sasha and Rachel, who are constantly encouraging and reminding me, gt the PM MSEs, Iris, Debbie, and some other regulars showin their concern, gt cheryl explainin terms for me, got jenni asking me whether i can cope anot, got des and jet sayin the muscle group when we are doing an action in their NB class, and Carmela and lastly Bong explaining the terms that i am in doubt so. I feel so grateful that i have some many loved ones around me.

Some may have distanced out from me, but some have closed the distance gap with me too.. Its nice to know there are always people out there who are concerned for me. Really appreciated. Somehow i even made my path and decision.

Had a fun day at today.... Study and classes and workout.... Today sasha sprained ankle/leg.... aww... but ah.. she better take care hor..... and BB was super happy today... haHA... busy chatting and disturbing and whistling on the way out from PM to MRT station..... kinda noisy... but i am glad to see him so happy ah... as wat i mentioned... i like to see my friends smiling in front of me. Definitely i hope i am smiling as well..... Did a small request of his "machine kicks" for KB... while Sasha's demand of "speed-ball"... hahA.... will they appear at tmr KB? Can he change routine in a nite time? Haha.... i wonder... Oh yeah.. pesterin him for a retro class for fri... jz bcos its Gd fri and easter cumin... shucks... i still cant find "easter eggs" to give away sia..... need to make another few more trips to chocolate stores... argh.....

Right knee cap in pain ah.... argh.... seem to worsen at today's class... but bearing with the pain..... bless me then...= )

Thoughts of the day: While blogging, i gt no idea why i felt something piercing into my heart.... i dunoe is i feel touched or betrayed or wat.....all kinds of feelings ah..... also have the feelings of cryin also... but nt the sad feeling of cryin..... unexplainable..... but i know i am alrite..... *thinkin hard again.. dunoe for wat reason..*.....

tuesday, a gd day
--------------------

as usual, woke up early for donald's pilates.... haha... it shouldnt be called a beginner class ah... with the number of advanced or regulars cumin, and the dumb-bell, gym stick, dyna band.... how can we call it a beginner class.... hehe... but tis is the only pilates class tat makes me perspire loh..... and it reallly works ur core muscles.... i like the pace, movement and everythin.... fri aft class was too wols le ah.... oops.. but i understand the situation...

went to do some self-studyin at vivo.... spent 4hrs studyin... and i am glad tat i jz finished the 1st phase... gt a lot of questions in mind... need someone to clear my doubts.....

cheryl class... as usual.. had difficulties with her HL class ah... u all should know why..... other than the box grapevine... when i am the only one turnin and turnin and turnin... when the rest do the normal one.... and she still disturbed me.. asked me gt count how many rounds i turn anot... and end up she turns with me unknowingly... lol....

kb likewise, haha.... some movements copy bong... lolx.. but she self-modify ah... but i saw the directions and know whose moves she gt it fro le.... haha... but she poor thing.. kanna throat infection.... quite bad.. and was told to take 1 wk MC..... jialat.. but thanks goodness, today everyone can do her movement.. and she no need to scream and shout... phew.....

my right knee cap goin loose again... haix.... cant do stretchfit for some poses... shucks... i dun wan to wear knee guard ah.. restrict my movements.... gone back with cheryl.. on train, explain some stuffs with me..... haha... lucky she knows her stuffs well..... and yah... another day is off..... tmr mitin feifei.... 1030 ngee ann poly... here i cum....

finally i am done with all the webcasts that i have all along missed out... dunoe why am i out here bloggin again.... feelin myself ache here ache there... hands ache, legs ache, heart ache, everywhere aching....

while readin feifei blog.... this jz so true on myself too... she wrote this...

``change?``
Sometimes. i realli dont understand.how can someone u seem to noe..seems to change so drastically.one u used to call fren, sister or even brother.suddenly juz seems distant.u no longer seem to understand them.ezzit because of lesser time spent together?or ezzit because i no longer seek to understand?or juz that they have changed too much.?how ppl change overnight.. it realli freaks me out sometimes.perhapz. i will become like one of these also.

anywayz.. yahh..like i said.ppl change. perception, ideology, actions.. everything.if one day. when mindset realli clashed..and there is no amicable way out.den perhapz. is time to part.sometimes.. im realli worried for her.haiz.but i cant do anything, cuz honestly.. she deserves it.but like i said.. they seems to evolved into ppl i dont noe anymore..so close yet so distant.a common past, a shared present.. but an unknown future.if one day, things get beyond repair.den.. i reckon. so be it bahz..However time and again.i wonder.. how can ppl still remain the same....

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Its just so true to an extent......why would one change? environment? peers? family? individual? demands? its really up to one.... i am lookin forward to wed ah... mitin feifei to go back NP to makan..... i know she will make me happier in some way... cuz jz makan and chattin with her...

Pissed off
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Supposingly to wake up happily.... yah.. i am.... and did somethin which i feel i must do..... solve the problem and i do feel happy..... at least the air has been cleared...... but but...

pissed off.....

so angry.....

irritated......

crapper....

All by these pple..... spoil my day...

worst still.... no where to go... bcos of some reasons.... never go workout... came home...

lucky best.... bought own dinner.... mum mis-interpret....

end up, i had 2 sets of dinner.. cuz my dad also buy another set for me.... no workout eat so much.....

i had alot of things to say... but i jz cant say here...... nothin to do with amore.... its a story of distance and separation......

Worn out
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Almost entered into the zone of "fatigue"... so tired when i got home...... such a great wkend that i have ah...
With an early wake-up.... goin to donald's kb.... i jz like this class of his... cuz he is ever using his tkd style... which is equivalent to mine and incorporates into the class.... esp. for today, he did a movement which i like it so much loh...... and after class, i still check with him for one movement.. n he is so happy that he is able to do such moves... lolx... jz cant help luffin whenever he misses the cue of the music, or counting the wrong beats.....

And then 1pm to 3pm... BEC..... learn weight trainin in the gym....... hai ping was our instructor... not a bad session... manage to know hw to use the equipments in the correct manner and allowing us to know which muscle group are we targeting at... But bcos of the tight schedule, it was very rush....

Then 3pm.... attended Jet's SB and NB..... pretty much happy... cuz two regulars of Jet came up to me and tell me that my steps have improved... hahA.. sasha... nw i finally understand how u feel when u were complimented by the MSE and members... it jz made u feel in the air, right?

Then 5pm... wonderwoman... changed and attended the last session of BEC... flexibility exercise.... a short session ah.... and then rachel and i were so hungry that we bathed very quickly and off to makan..... hahA..... i tink we r two pigs ah... cuz the 3rd pig went off to makan with her parents and family.... oops...

and now i am lyin flat on the bed.... so tired... perhaps i should jz rest at tmr... go gym and then jenni steps and pilates..... worn out.....

P.S: Despite tis ger has some sort of irritated me...... but i am seriously super duber concerned over her health ah... these few days have been tagging in her blog.... she might have lost 3kg in a week.. which is seriously too much...... and i dun wan anyone to turn anaroxic...... its super duber bad scenario... now jz hope she is doin fine... and knowin how to take care of herself...... i will be revealing myself to her soon.... and i meant it.....