wat can i say abt tis place? an area where i had stayed the most for my working experience..its 2 yrs at there....wat can b described in these 2 yrs? hard work? experience? pain? happiness? sadness? the feeling is different when i first joined minitoons n now. Last time, its relaxing n fun n entertainin....now....its pressurizing..its beyond description n its sadness when i go work at times... the sense of belonging to the outlet is not there...everyone seem to b treating me so differently. I maybe onli wif them for a short while but y is everyone or most of them making use of me? I am not a puppet. Not a puppet for pple to use, not a puppet for pple to play abt wif.

each day goin to minitoons i had to pretend. pretend to b happi, pretend to be cheerful, pretend tat nothing had happened before. but is the others doing the same? the people r so calculative n so terrible. been faking their appearance at everyday. in appearance they appear so kind-hearted, yet behind you they held a dagger in their hands n tryin their veri best to stab you. Is it what you would like to see in a current work situation?

i am working, partly is bcos of money to pay my skool fees, but the main reason of me stayin at minitoons is the sense of belonging. I grew up at minitoons n i learnt most of the skills at minitoons. fro management to human n communication. It's really an area where i used to feel i had another family who care for me. but now i feel so lost. cuming to work makes me feel like a lost bird. A lost bird who cant find her family, a lost bird who had stepped into the wrong home which is full of bloodshed, anger and no communication.

every nite when i go home, i had been tinkin alot. thinkin wat i had done in the day time when i work, thinkin hw r u pple treating me n tinkin y things had becum in such a way. times n times again i am hurt, deeply hurt. Never want to write anything in the comm. book, not becos i had nothing to write. There r alot of feelings for me to write...alot.....u all, most of u r older than me. I believe u pple r old enough to tink, old enough to kknow hw to behave or old enough know wat is right n wat is wrong. but times n times again, u all had disappointed me. haix.....i cant withstand myself anymore. i am breaking down.....a spoilt machine soon. ... sometimes i hope i can go back to my old mama...serene...some things she might nt know...but at least she is there for me when i need...she know wat i want, she knows my feelings n she understand me. i had seen other outlets. they had never changed much, but our outlet is like...haix...u pple know..................

i dun want to type tis post out...but i dun wan to hide my feelings anymore le. i realli veri sad to see the current club situation..haix...wat has tis club becum to? its gettin fro bad to worse..... i wanted to help the club wif my ability...but it seem so limited...as days go by, my feeling of leavin the club is so intense...its the feeling n responsibility tat is holdin me back badly....i cant bear to leave the club....haix...i dun wan to type anymore...holdin back my tears le....i'll b strong... birthday cumin as well....i feel like havin a lonely birthday..no birthday wish other than hoping i am happy n healthy...

wanted to cry...but i forcing myself not to....supposed to go training todai..but received a call fro my manager at 10 plus in the morning..requestin me to go down to work immediately..haix...perhaps in the whole shop i onli trust her the most...i agreed to it... i dunoe its happiness or sadness to go down... todai nearly to closing time, i am oreadi veri frustrated wif someone at work...cos she been interruptin me...where got one person go toilet every 1 hour...is tat an SOP? n y is she always acting? y can one onli do things when she see someone nt happi... wo zhen de heng bu kai xin tat i said her to my collegue n she heard it....i tink i had enough of her... wo zhen de hao xiang ku...din manage to go training le...yet see tis kind of things goin on...

todai another tiring day..finally finished the whole layout of the shop....hope it wun change anymore..i had enough of it....nt to mention abt my work anymore...

something else to comment abt...my sis had a big quarrel wif my mum at yest....end up harmed the whole family...now my mum wants to have a clear cut wif the family...she says everythin do on ur own...wash clothes, plates, everything..all do on ur own..she nt goin to help us to do anymore..all bcos of my sis... always like tat...she tink she veri great.....

she never seem to grow up...turnin 19.....yet been hanging out late n talkin back to my parents...wat is tis....been using my parents money for the past 18 yrs...haix..dun wan say le.or else she gonna say me.....

these few dazs will b veri tired...buzi doin new layout for the store...haix...tired sia..everythin got to do on my own....the shop is nt veri small n also not veri big...so many small little things....move till i go ke siao....haix...jz too for tired sia...been doin the layout for two dazs yet still nt finished.... tomolo goin to continue again..hope all things go smoothly..tomolo my manager wun b present...so.....hope all things r well.....................nitex...tired...

lucky tat my manager allow me to wear sandals to work todai..due to my swollen feet...unlike one of my weird "in-charge" asked me to wear sandals wif socks...-_-//.... was the part time cashier of the day...did abit of mistake by forgetin to key members....then she end up havin no discount...got to do refund..haix...

then help to do up new decoration for my bolsters n soft toys....like it when my manager tinks highly of me...as she understands me, allow me to do wat i tink is right for the store, n appreciate my help...

mama enters the store...haha...someone thought who is she..y so rude to her..cos the bag she want to buy was so ugly..then i dun wan her to buy...so asked her..y u want to buy the bag...ur house got so many bags le....then i bought a pair of snow gloves for myself...n some other things...

kk...nitey.............

haix....injured..
morning wake up at 7 plus to help stephanie to do her web enrolment..sleep onli 3 hrs...haix...then din manage to get back to some sleep....went to watch tv....rot around..n left house at 11am to mit huimin...haha...so long din see her....her mum thought we had a quarrel... chat wif her over lunch for abt 2 hrs..then went to watch incredibles wif her...hehe..comical n nice show...then rush home to do my web enrolment..n help my sis as well.....lucky i manage to enrol into somethin tat i like....then rush off for tkd...was late...n it was raining...sianx...saw veri few pple...
training time...tiring...perhaps is i din sleep enough..no energy....then got sparring...haix.....spar wif my dear...wei juan....dunoe y...after e match...my left inceps or insteps....dunoe ah...was havin a big hump.....it was so painful tat i cry on the spot...zhen mei yong....then full of injuries now...sad sad..... 2molo got to work..dunoe can wear sandals anot..cos my legs was still havin a hump....

todai off for me....been waiting for tis day to cum....went swimmin in the morning..recently so suai...go swim...then it keep raining...haix...but i managed to complete my laps..... then came back...supposed to go clementi n give someone a surprise on her birthday..end up she was nt there..got to take the birthday cake home on my home...sianz...

went orchard wif my sis..go OG orchard point...cos we received the members catalog n saw something nice...went down to buy my new bedsheet....winnie the pooh...bought it at 16 bucks as i got the OG card...so nice...hehe... my sis got a small cushion n we went to Heeren...share money wif her to buy a levi's tee..i like it wor...nice nice.....

after all, attachment seem to b cumin to an end....am i enjoying? i promise her that i will work for her till christmas...i guess the promise made mz be done....despite hw many pple are blockin my way, using me/ i guess i mz accept it...

looks like among all of us, zhao yuan is the one enjoying her attachment.....stephanie is the most pitiful one....where am i? tomolo is web enrolment? wat r u taking?

i hate tis feeling...the feeling of being used...the feeling of not being trusted....haix...i realli hate it.. yest came 41 cartons of goods..i did the counting..i am so sure n confident of my counting..cant my primary school maths be so bad rite...tis morning..1 hr b4 i go work....i got a call fro them..sayin we r shortage of good...say we might have miscount the cartons..but i am so sure...despite she calls e other outlets to check..but dun have....

then they did repeated calls to me..n haix....they dun trust me...haf the day been pointin the fingers at me...i wanted to cry badly.....but i got to control myself...haix...hw long can i make myself to wait before the whole thing come to an end....i dunoe...should i stop doin all these...

jz nw i sweep the whole shop, mop the whole floor..cleaning the whole candy rack....but wat r the other two doing...counting money...haix..need so many pple to count money meh...n count so long!!!.....i am angry......haix.....i left the shop at 10pm sharp...dun care le....haix....

yawnx....its a realli tiring day for me todai... haix.....so tired..so tired...clock in at 11am todai....then begin my heavy task for the day...redo the shop layout.....ALONE!!! then abit angry as no one serve the customers....all r doin their own stuffs...argh..then i act invisible....

din realli had my lunch todai..as i bought a little...n ate bit by bit....took a long time to finish my stuffs as halfway need to help them here n there....haix....end up when i finish its 9pm...hw to go for tkd training..haix... went off at 9.25pm to have my dinner wif my family...

i am so tired..give me a break!!!

y hasnt i been bloggin at these few dazs...cos i jz bought a 1000pcs precious moments jigsaw puzzle to do on friday nite...erm..i like to do jigsaw puzzle...nice..... been stayin up late at nite to do it....currently left 20% left...hope can finish soon.....

had a good talk with my manager todai...erm...tink i learnt alot from her....erm..tomolo got a long day...cant go tkd...got to redo the shop whole layout again.....hope i can do well...okok...buai...nitex...

todai......no work..off day...wohoo....so nice rite....supposed to b a restin day..but had to do some shopping for tkd....erm...went to skool for a sharity gift box thing..nt bad..sounds interesting...do charity....then went ikea for some table searchin....erm..need to find a table wif 3 drawers..it sound so easy..yet it is so difficult to find...haix...went to ikea, anchor point and also IMM to search for the table...pengz...stupid......either no such table....or the price do not match the table.......

then went to minitoons.....dunoe wat to say...i jz goin to say these pple r veri lame.....when one din pour back the water n put mop in the storeroom..they also want to write tis inside the comm book....mz we do work until like tis...its realli ridiculous.......i tink if 1 day i dun die of all these small little matters.....its bluffing...

went to tkd training in a veri tired manner..cos walk too long..haix...then veri lethargic....then training was siong...haix....din kick well..can see wong sir sad face...then got sparring..injured...haix...alot of injuries...making me aching..haix....hw to go swimming tomolo....tell me......sianz....cheer me up...

haix..here is to update for two days...

yest day..despite it is holiday but i need to work..haix...some more wif no double pay...dun wan talk over it le...veri sad as i onli know my schedule on sunday nite at 1150pm....haix... yest working wasnt veri good....haix...alot of kids....see le until i headache....so many pple enter the shop yet........haix...then evening go cuiling house for miting...abit disappointed here n there.... no point talkin....tired le..

todai....went to work on a mission....need to b an observer....seem bad rite....haix...dunoe hw to comment also...but whenever i work wif her i feel more relaxed....todai made an achievement..i manage to sell 11 soaps n do 3 members..happi for myself for tis kind of achievement..as todai customers were like flies....so small n tiny...whole IMM is so quiet...

anyway i tink tomolo or friday my LO is cuming to visit me again...she seem to b naggy but concerned....kk..update again..tired....

recently...i been so enthu in swimming..mayb watch too much ren wo ou you le.....or mayb as wat my les partner had said...swimming can make u forget ur bad memories...

din want to go anywhere todai..despite supposed to go bishan to visit my ex manager...haix.... jz rot at home..hear 933 long hu bang...then play crazy taxi..when e rain stopped...helped mum fold clothes... then went for a swim.....erm....too many pple at the pool..some r learning n some r playin...blockin my way sia... haix... din swim for long..then came back le....

start online...n tinkin of wat to blog.....

todai work half day..was e cashier..dun realli want to b,cosi cant reali do upsell....haix... was e cashier fro 11am to 3pm..cant go anywhere other than stay inside..cos my part time cashier who took over me only cum at 3pm...pengz rite..end up i cant even go toilet....haix...

work end at 6pm..took e bus to orchard...mit up wif my sis...makan..then go walk walk... i was lookin for a watch...either citizen or fossil or a metal watch...walked into fossil shop at heerens n saw a few..were fascinated by the watches n the prices as well..135.....pretty expensive...

then we walked over to far east as i am lookin for some new semester clothes...erm.... walk past a watch shop n saw tb01 chin fatt workin inside...erm...nice rite..my sis was more on good terms wif him....chatted wif him n checked got discount anot...

end up, he did some recommendations n i bought a fossil watch fro him....its nice to me....ametal watch...wif stars actin as shadow...dunoe hw to describe....

back home i am finding things to do....haix...tomolo no work..will b goin swimming...i want to get tanned again...

slept at 2am, woke up at 3am, hoping to see my results, but the school server was down...haix..went back to sleep n couldnt sleep. finally woke up at 8am to see my results. was happi n glad to see it. My hands were trembling n shivering. was happi for certain modules, n sad for certain modules as well. Here is my results:

CURRENT SEMESTER GRADE POINT AVERAGE : 3.5833
SEMESTER OF STUDY : 03

MODULE GRADE

ACCOUNTING APPLICATIONS & ANALYSIS B

ELECTRONIC COMMERCE AD

ENTERPRISE CREATION & DEVELOPMENT B

OPERATIONS MANAGEMENT B+

PRINCIPLES OF MARKETING A

PRODUCTIVITY & QUALITY STUDIES AD

UNDERSTANDING THE MEDIA A


RESULT: Passed

A person's true colours will only be reflected when one commit a mistake. This time round, i had seen yours n i am sad to say i am UTTERLY disappointed to see it. U had disappointed me alot.. deeply.....

By not talkin to u doesnt mean i am avoiding u. I hope you had forgotten about me before we can continue our friendship. But looking at past week, u had not forgotten me n had been tryin to change back n get back the relationship. I dun hate you for telling me all the lies n so on, but seeing the last message, i am DEEPLY hurt....

i told you that i do not want to block u fro msn despite alot of pple had asked me to do it. but what had you told me....u asked me not to block, instead u will be the one blocking me. What is it? i am keeping the friendship that i hold between us, yet u are making the whole matter worse but nt even regarding me as ur friend.

if u gonna do it, by all means. i hate myself for doing the stupid mistake.

rena, happi deepavali to u..u look so pretty todai.....todai went to her house to celebrate....haha...sounds abit like chinese new year to us.....went there wif a tin of cookies..feel paiseh if din bring anythin....enjoyed myself at there...

then go orchard.....shop n eat....then went home..sad le..dun wan comment..see my next entry n u know y,....

never find a day of my attachment been peaceful before...todai i find myself in a pancake...straightly a pancake....each day when i go to work..i hear stories...todai nearly a war happen bah....dunoe hw to describe it....but i am trapped in btw...haix....

was workin in an veri unhappy manner......dun wan say anymore.....my ex manager visits me..so glad to see her..n finally know hw wonderful it is to work under her...haix....nw i am so stucked... tomolo a visit to rena house...hope i get to enjoy...okok..dun chat le..i veri tired...nitex

by the way..todai my mama birthday..got a cake for her.....wish her happi birthday..n my daddy happi be-lated birthday...his was yest.....so qiao rite.....kk....

I do not know whether am i cruel or so. perhaps over the years i realli learnt how to take care of myself much more better...i tend to be more concerned over myself...i dunoe y..perhaps i had been "qi fu" by too many pple over these years...

recently, i jz broke up wif sh, n i know i dun wan to hold back any feelings bah. i doubt i will b gettin the relationship back, neither am i going to regret the whole thing. no matter hw many pple want me to savage the relationship, the chances is slim. I know myself, i know what is going on. Despite his nick is showing the number of dayz, but that is him. I'm nt going to say much le. It's over n i realli want to have a fresh look in the cuming semester or cuming new year.


....."Time to wake up, Wei Shi!!!".....

haix..3rd week of attachment had jz started..yet i cant wait till it end fast...haix... i gettin more n more sick of the whole attachment program le...n i gettin more n more sick whenever i am online...i dunoe y....

i wasnt to myself..i wasnt...i need someone to talk to....yet i cant find my close buddies...one of them is havin exams..the other one is sad over her own issue....the rest...i dun wan say le....haix...

my house has been disaster all the way...everyway askin me the same question..the story had cum to an end le...stop askin me...okie....i dun wan to add on anything...or follow up le...i jz want to be myself...deeply myself.... spare me......

nothin to blog todai..jz been workin n workin n nothin to do....remove hair accessory to b sent back to office...been pressurizing for members n selling of soaps...n been pestered by a collegue...dun like talkin to her..but haix...

played wif customers's kids....they r fun n cute n adorable..one of them even remembered me... so nice of it...

i wish to b a butterfly....a butterfly that soar high up in the sky....these few dazs been eyeing on a big fat mashimaro holdin a big carrot...so nice n cute...feel like pinchin her face..but sad..it had been sold to a customer..hold the stock returns...miss the mashimaro....

how can b a mashimaro been mistaken n called as marshmallow???

bad habit of myself seem to b back again..when i am sad...i usually go out n buy things....to turn unhappiness into happiness..is it true? i dunoe...spend abt 100 bucks todai... bought alot of pink items...i dunoe whether am i goin to turn into a pink lady?

i bought myself a pair of japanese shoes....pinko in colour... bought a pink sling bag, 2 shirt..one is pink, the other one is beige...all fro 2 japanese shops....perhaps my liking is japanese items..therefore i always go for their items n stuffs....

jz hope wat i buy will also be wat i am goin to use them n nt left at a corner...

my sis got me tidbits..i gave her a pair of earrings....she knew i am sad..i knew she need somethin..therefore it seem to b an exchange of gift...anyway i got my pay le..i tink is 200 bucks..haben check my bank....n i tink i got my bursary as well..quite happi..tink is 1K, which i can use to pay for my cumin semester school fees...each semester is a headache to me cos i got to search for money to pay for my school fees.... next semester or next yr onwards, i'm nt goin to work anymore, will b financially down..haix...

at todai..sat...we broke off le..after a short run of the relationship, i tink i had to put a full stop to it..far too many difference n struggles, till i tink i cant take it anymore..communication is so much low n times n times again, dissapointing moments is occurring..i cant take it anymore...i had to say sorri, i had to put tis to an end...haix...

no cry, no cry, sat at silence, nt even facing face to face....n left one another soon after no time...who am i searchin for indeed? realli my dream guy?? someone who is independent, someone who is thoughtful, someone who is there when i need him? anyone who fit into tis criteria?? mayb should jz concentrate on my studies n find him when i go NAVY....

enjoyed myself workin at CCK todai..saw 2 of my ex collegues...no pressure..jz work n work...customers at CCK like self service...like n dislike....

* a happy n sad moment that lasted exactly 1.5 months*. thanks for all the happy moment that u had given to me in tis short period of relationship.

another day has passed...tis is the 2nd wk of attachment...todai...quite pleased...do up a new decoration for my soft toys...my precious baobei in the store.....i changed all the deco into a christmas tree form...like them alot..dunoe y... n by doin tat, my soft toys r sellin fast.... so happi...

didnt do much todai...veri tired..lips veri dry...sleepin early....

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

todai was veri active...morning went for a swim..then afternoon play game..chat wif zhi wang n ernest....then download game....n went for training in the evening...veri upset to see the attendance of the club...onli 10 members....haixz...should b the rain ah.....

paired up wif a junior..mayb i am fated nt to teach somethin that i am capable..so ended up ji shou ya jiao...haix....happi thing was i found out wong sir bluff us...last gradin i got a double instead...happi over it...but feel normal..cos next two or three gradin i wun b goin... at now..black tip le..yet my skills is so bad....

nw back home waitin for a call..see whether fate brings us together anot...if not....then.....

haix...suai day...super suai...go work n heard someone backstab me..i am jz there for barely two weeks...yet had already been used by the people there n now backstabbed me...i didnt or i wasnt the one who arranged the items..yet she say everythin was done by me n go report to my manager....i knew my style of doin things n i had my own princple in handling work matters.... i was like a siao char boh running up n down in the shop yet the others were chattin away... wat is this...am i being forced to do tis??

todai was asked to work until 10pm..n papa wasnt there to fetch me..got to go home alone..back home...veri tired...dunoe y...tink i am goin sick sooner or later if things go out like tis...

Haix....lookin at the number of work days tat i need to work a day n the hours....i tink my attachment pay will onli b abt 800 bucks...super sianx....alot of things cant be done....all these money will b used to pay my skool fees....nothin can be used to buy my loved things... mayb i mz start tinkin of ways..... so many pple birthday cumin up...erm....first is daddy n mummy birthday...a day difference....then dunoe who le.... tinkin wat to buy for my parents... pple?? any suggestions?
anyway i been wishin for certain things...some r so unrealistic for me to achieve.....below r wat i am going to buy in the cuming new yr....

1) digital camera (hope i can..realli wish to have one)
2) a silver or metallic watch with a pink or sky blue surface...tis one i am searchin hard for it...might be citizen...
3) new bed
4) new clothes for new semester
5) new sandal to replace current old one...
6) new hp(maybe)
7) la pi xiao xin series2 vcd....
8) brown belt for my next grading...
9) a big big soft toy plush
10) mp3 player (hope)

erm...sounds like its realli take alot of time before i can strike off everythin...i guess the first item tat i am goin to buy is either the brown belt or la pi xiao xin vcd...or new clothes...i tink i realli need some decent or nice clothes for cumin semester.....dunoe ah....

exams results gonna release in 12 november...super duber worried for the results..i realli dunoe hw i fare...onli know its disappointing....haix....no mood to go n tink or do other things...i jz wait wait wait n see hw things go....

sianx...todai being made use..tis stupid or lazy pig of my collegue...my hatetest one.... was so lazy...onli know hw to stuck in the cashier area...dun wan move..keep on ask me do tis do tat for her..even the distance is onli 5m.....i was made like a slave....despite i told her to do it on her own...she onli give me a face...i reali hate it......

haix...my other collegue saw it n told my so called supervisor...but no use...e supervisor side wif the lazy pig...haix.....tired tired tired...

my left hand was alittle swollen after yest tkd....sianx...went to work aching here n there....wonder hw will my life b.....they onli know hw to push the blame to me....i am considered new n also old in the company...but tis is nt the way to treat me at work..

thanks sheng hao n andy for dropping by at IMM...sounds weird.....but still thanks..sorri tat i had left u all alone to go back..as i am off wif my dad.....luv my dad.....n mum too...n my family..my loved one...but my family is still placed NO. 1.....

Wake up early at 6plus to prepare myself for tis morning demo kicks..erm...super early..so there b sai kang again..wear full tobok go help pple arrange chairs..wat the... then nvm loh...e guests were so minimum...less than 30 pple turn up for the ceremony..we were waitin n waitin..

haix...in regards to my own performance, sad n disappointing..onli manage to break one plank while the other did not break...haix...was frrightened as well as tis is a solo performance n a performance after a yr plus since i step into NP...

then went home, n now my house is on wireless...dun let others cum my house n use....or i will ban u all..kidding..hehe... happi for my wireless cos got free upgrade of modem...no need to pay another 68 bucks...haha...great rite...

went tkd in the evening...XIONG>..tough....can kill one person....mayb lack of sleep...so will pantin like a dog....haix...many pple r injured todai..sianx....n most of them r pple whom i realli know well...feel hurt for them..hope they get well soon...take care benedict, jian an, zhi wang and many others.... : )

*tinkin mode on*......nitex...

haha...i luv todai..work up early to watch tv....then prepare myself n mit my frenzs...erm...abt haf year din go out wif her...so pretty lookin forward to it..we went to paragon sushi tei...erm..nice n cosy environment..like it...
we had a long chat..n i ate unagi, n finally i got to eat their chocolate wafer...haha..had been lookin forward to eat it..dunoe y..i like sushi tei chocolate wafer alot.....hehe... n we had planned when is the nxt day to go out....lookin forward le....

kk..tomolo is kick plank day....wish me luck, ok?? nitex all..