wassup wassup... wassup with me?
my mood is never up and never down... its always in the middle of no where
sat for my geo paper today... sad, disappointed, dejected. super mixed feelings of the bad part... nothin is right.. i lost 25% OF the freakin paper. i dun wanna comment it...

met up with my buddy benedict for lunch.. its quite a last min thing... as usual, he is a crapper lah... my day did brighten up abit... then after lunch at west mall, we went to lot1.. cuz the vain guy want to develop his 1 yr storage of photos... off we go... then shop for joc present... erh... shhh..... then i took a bus to orchard...

alien time of the alien season, i saw daryl and yvonne... wasnt in a gd mood to talk to them.. so i siam... then shop shop around.. and finally i went to the taka fragrance fair...

tried on alot of new perfume.. before settling for a gucci new fragrance flavour... its not bad lah.... then i also gt a new pair of goggles for my swimmin mission in dec... spent abt $110 in a couple of hours... but its somethin tat i need to get lah...

and i am back in amore again.. as usual.. after so long i am back in des class... haha.. i miss her new body... very xiong.... but i like it... then went for bong kB... its a killer.. really a killer.... esp. the 3 continous side kick, followed by alternate side kick... can kill u man!!!!

then home i come and i am sianz again...

do not agitate me when i am havin a bad headache... u will be in a deep trouble...

now I AM SUPER ANGRY WITH TWO PEOPLE. they are my sis and my mother.... reason 1: my sis bringing her bf back to house tmr, when i plan to study for my geo paper tmr, where i got my exams on freaking wed mornin 9am. not only that she did not ask me for permission, she jz bring.. and she mess up my room in somehow.. by creatin noises...

and not bcos i dont allow her new bf to come to my house... the main reason is PLEASE CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIMING. WHY DO YOU COME WHEN I AM HAVIN MY FREAKIN TORTURING EXAMS. THOUGH U R STILL SO NEW TO HER, PLEASE BE MORE CONSIDERATE TO OTHERS!!!

further more to make me angry is... my mum sided with her.. say it just only a couple of hours... excuse me.. from 10am to abt 3pm is a couple of hours... had i failed my maths or do i need more fingers to count with my hands....

now i gt to look for other areas to study... and tmr mornin i goin to leave house early... just to get away!!... if only i can, i will step out of my house now and walk to my house nearest mac 24hrs to study...

I AM SO ANGRY. BURSTIN OFF. and i cried jz nw just becos my mum sided her. irritated. fed up. angry. pissed up.

Perhaps this is the first time that i am saying this.

Its quite a breeze for today's sociology paper. After spendin a freakin 9hrs of studying at yest, i guess my efforts had been recognized. Definitely some points came out and some dont. Things i dont study come out, and things i study till damn hard didnt come out. But i tink i still can write. Especially in the crapping...
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Now left last 2... i really hope to get over it in real time.... please....

Anyway, went to amore after exams just now... this is a good place of relaxation... did hip hop and kickboxing... tink i am too tired.. so some movements abit hell ah.... anyway did enjoyed... i still cant execute one set of movement well... tink i need to improve on my jab jab upper cut le.... argh.... and also mindful of the execution... jiayou...

Oh yah.. i plan and see a busy schedule immediately after exams...

dec 4th end of exams.... amore bah.. for relaxation
dec 5th meet feifei
dec 6th mayday concert
dec 7th amore day
dec 8th birthday at ecp with stephy n aileen, followed by nite time with huimin
dec 9th np ba tea reception, nite time bbq celebration at pasir ris
dec 10th onwards amore days!!!

And also to start reading up books on muscles, fitness.. things to help the course that i am taking in march 2007.... jiayou le beh....

anyway mood jz destroyed by my sis and mum.. jz bcos i told my bro that her new bf cumin my house tmr.... why cant i say this... gt wrong meh? anyway dun wan comment le.. fed up

I cant imagine... i really cannot... went amore tis morning.. erh... kickboxin when my exam is the next dAy... Sociology paper.. another killer one... then abit blur ah... dunoe is my actions too fast and gan chiong.. or donald (instructor) is standin too near, i accidentally hit him when he tryin to demo to the class of the action.. paiseh sia... nvm..

then went home.. study time..

was k-ing my sociology from 2 plus to 11.30pm... in btw only short breaks... conclusion i give up on 1 chapter on deviance... dunoe wat the hell it is tryin to talk...

hope i can remember the rest... my mind abit bonkers le.... i faintin soon in no time.. heart thumpin...

jz got an sms fro bee siang... tkd president... will be goin back to help out for ivp ah.... 21 - 23 dec.... should i spar for nus? i feel like sparrin so much...

Suddenly i feel as long as u have some real good buddies beside you, your life will be super meaningful. I tell you why...

HAdnt been feeling good while i am still havin my exams symptoms. Smsed some people like feifei, steph and linda. Super touched by them.. Dearest feifei do collective encouragement, get qy (my monkey) and ben dan to msg me. BEn was so gd that he called me twice after i din pick up on the 1st. Has a short chat with him. And seeing his msg and qy msg i was super delighted, perhaps it juz brings me back to the poly hehe haha days bah.... oh yah, not to forget feifei airen.. haha... msn me and wish me luck too....

Then my airen stephy also msg me... she been there for me ah.... haha.. tis one no need explain.. almost everyday see her...

lastly linda.. my amore buddy.. was also shocked to see her calling me... haha.. despite she was abit down she still calls me and cheer me up... thanks thanks

i just feel u peeps are the best among all... the warmth touches me deeply...

dec 8th is cumin along the way. Tis yr is the 1st yr where so many pple offered to spend the day with me. Love you all!

因为我的孤僻的性格， 我时时刻刻谜谜糊思。 有很多心事， 但不知要从哪里开始讲起。 多谢你们的宽容， 多谢你们的爱护， 我会好好地撑下去！！！

Suddenly have an urge to post a chinese posting at here...

ying wei wo de dan shen, er chan xia le cai wei shi. wo de chun zai deng yu wo de chu xian. zai zhe ge ren shen li, wo ren shi le heng duo le. you ni, you ta, ye you wo. wo zhen xi shen huo zhong de da da xiao xiao, dian dian di di de zhong xi.

dang wo hai pai de shi hou, ni men chu xian le. dang wo gu du de shi hou, wo you ni men de pei ban. dang wo tao de yuan yuan de, ni chu xian le, ba wo dai hui lai. heng gao xing wo de shen wo yong you le zhe me duo zhi xin hao you. xie xie ni men....

wo neng fei, wo neng pao. wo bu xiang zai pao le. wo lei le. wo zhen de lei le.

While everyone is busy mugging for exams, here i am with another exams phobia posting...

Exams equal fear,
Fear equal tension,
Tension equal nervousness
Nervousness equal worried
Worried equal Scary
Scary equal Terror

While all take exams as a challenge, I took exams as a fear
Running away equal a form of escape
Facing it equal responsibility

Environment changes the surrounding
Plant grows flowers
Birds lay eggs
We gain knowledge
I battle for exams

Me & you
Crosses the shelter
Overcoming all odds
May we are sheltered
Away carelessness and time run-out
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A couple of days back, i told my mum "I am worried. I scared of failing. I do not know how long can i continue on". Despite there wasnt any pressure given by them, but I know i am struggling. At least at the very right moment. I really do not know. Perhaps i need more comfort and assurrance. bUT all depends on me ALOT! 50%,60%... so much weightage!!!! I had alot of things in my mind, bottled up! but i dun wan to release the tight tension to all my darling frenzs who are taking exams also. I can only say we are trying hard, REAL HARD!

P.S: Btw i am real happy today. Thanks feifei. Seeing you really brightens and relaxes myself. I feel a sense of nervousness in myself. I cant bring myself to study wholeheartedly. Jiayou bah....

I was talkin to my brother in a couple of hours ago. Was discussing about uni life in two different unis and also the upcoming exams. He asked " How many As do you plan to get?"

A fast and definite reply : None.. and i told him i doubt i will get As so easily... becos there is a killer for me. My language is not strong... perhaps if i go study chinese, i might get an A hor... haha... esp. everyone says i speak like a china person, very fluent....

Anyway back to square,studies for exams had been going on quite smooth, though quite hectic. In fact, this is the 1st time i had been mugging so so so so so hard for exams.. i had never seen myself mugging 12 hrs a day and having 5 hrs of sleep... tis is the 1st time.. and it still gonna continue for another 2.5 hrs..

And i tink i am a superwoman too.. while i am mugging, i still take time off to amore for workout... i tink as a human, we need to relax too ah... if not i will go mad... so pple, while u r mugging, mz relax hor....

I also told my bro i will not go for honours even if i am given a chance... tink he knows what i am going out for in my life... sometimes i wanted to give up... but a sense of determination steps in.....

Worried for myself, worried for my peers, worried for all the poly mates competing with the jc kids, Just worried!!!!!

Erm, i seem to be typing rubbish again...While typing, i am listening to my current favourite song..."Unfaithful" by Rihanna. But this is a remix version, super nice. And this song touches me alot esp this phrase " I dont wanna hurt you anymore".... and " I dont wanna do this anymore"

I need a good sleep... perhaps a sleep with no disturbance from my sis in the morning... a sleep with no nightmare... a sleep with no worries... a sleep to relax my mind off... A good good sleep...

A confused state again.. Dunoe why.. Feeling real stressed up over exams.. In less than a week, i shall sit my 1st paper... I am nervous.. I admit.. I am worried.. I admit... I am scared.. I also admit... But I am tryin my best too... Do i admit? I should say YES. Physically may nt be hardworking, but background stuffs play alot more.. But results where? Some are seen while some are not...

Haix... I dunoe why my mood suddenly plunge to zero again.. Its back to a square... Jiayou weishi... Jz remember Dec 3rd standard chartered run.. dec 4th end of exams, dec 6th mayday concert... dec 8th my birthday... and DEC is a holiday period for us... Tolerate and perserve to the end.....

To all: I am OK. No worries!

Erm, i am still busy... ever busy...

I dont know what i intend to blog here... though there is something in my mind... but i tink it is not advisable to speak at here... so i shall jz zip...

I got back some of my common tests results.. and some tests... happy sad... mixed feelings... cant comment much... juz know everyone is struggling badly...

We used to be at one end of the bell curve.. and now we are at the other side.... That is the difference, that is the sacrifice that we have made...

As what i have said... We have chosen the path, we have dig the hole on our own, so its our path now. We have to continue to move on.

I wont choose to switch course, I wont choose to give up.... BUT BUT i would only be going for a degree and not a honours... dont ask me why.... but i am not chaNGIng...

recently, i am so busy... with projects projects n jz projects... everything is never ending....makin me suffocatin le...been cuttin down on amore as well.. dunoe is since haze, it makes me so hard to breathe or watsoever reason...another reason is i need more time for my projects n stuffs....

nothin much to update. Only thing in perhaps is i am impressed with somethin. I tried to think of some kickboxing combination moving during the GEO 10mins break and i manage to think of about 5-6 combinations within the short period of time.... but in total i squeeze out 11 combinations.. haha.. kinda proud of it... but its for someone lah.... hopefully i can go for my dream too....amore instructor...

erm, my life is up n down up n down..... moody also.. tired also... dunoe why.. what the hell..... and its really a DAM-N IT!!!!!.... stephy agree? haha......

and my life is evolving btw sociology n geography now... which major to go for????