Urm... mon has my kb training.. thanks to him for helping me.... managed to solve somethin out. thanK you.. at least for nw... its gd to me lah.. thank you thank you and thank you............

went back to school for tutorial.. 1st time ever i am so participative... talked so much in class.. dunoe wat happen.. mayb bcuz i ate a banana muffin b4 i go class... then feel damn energetic.... lol.. dunoe.. but its gd to keep talkin....

then went to PM.... put things.. and went out shopping.. bought quite a number of things.. tink i am quite scary recently...oops... but then...yah...... i luv it.. shop and buy things tat u nid and want.. woohooo............

lastly.. KB.... gt a chance to cover this kb class..... i can only say i simply luv it... thank you... despite there r some changes.. but then i will still say... i am willing to challenge myself to take up the challenge.... started the class abit fumbling..... cuz i dun like to talk alot when the music is off.. i cant express in silence..... so did a quick one.. was it quick.. i doubt so... and i started off...

despite nt many pple were shouting.. but then to me.. i feel its generally a gd workout to everyone... can see everyone is managin quite well... so much better than the previous few times when i was still a "shadow" for his class.... so happy... also same time..... some regulars are seen panting..... oops..... i cant allow everyone to perfect their moves.. but i have tried lah..... lost abit of my voice.. but then.... i am really happy.. and for the 1st time in teachin KB.. i din go offbeat... is it a gd news to me.... i dunoe.... but thank you to everyone for allowin me to have a great session....

Its the 40th class that i have for tis mth.... and i am enterin into a new mth feb. soon.........

I din expect he will ask me that qn... perhaps i should thank claudia bah..... supposingly to tell him tml morning when we havin our training.. but it came impromptu.... and as usual.. we never gt to discuss qns thoroughly.. that person is always like a small boy.. always get distracted easily.... and talk abt other things......

True... everythin is so new... but i am pressing too hard too.... so looks like i jz gotta relax and keep on going.....

Today... feelin cold.. dun feel quite well.... also dunoe why.... only happen when i go Ep.... tummy damn painful... end up go toilet thrice b4 class... and huggin tummy while doin KB.. jz dun feel gd..... cant concentrate and etc... haix.....

Oh yah... i went to tampines jz nw to have a walk... jz before Ep class... hahA.. bought a pair of heels for cny...... yeah.. ARE YOU READY FOR CNY??? i am not.. cuz gt alot of classes cumin up....

Started off a day stoning by watchin tv program.. the volleyball game.. dunoe why.. i like old tv drama.... nice...... and out i went out of the house... ahem.....

almost dropped my tears while talkin to pple.. wasnt feeling very ok..... in the case emotionally.... while pple are lookin at a pig.... i am havin a sulken face..... damn down.. jz dun feel like smiling.... and went to studio 2..... tink jade and sasha.. saw my gloomy face.. but i jz gt no mood bah.. jz want some silence.... and then gt bluffed.. and we walked back to HQ.. where someone repeatedly apologize......

urm........ training for hilo... so far so gd... i'm still tryin to work on it though... hilo is something i am not v. worried abt.. bcuz i know in exactly of wat i want or wat can i cater to my members.... in fact the attendance rate has been on a rising rate... something that i am happy over.. and the class is getting noiser n noiser bcuz of me and their participation... hahA... u wun know all these unless u attend the class.... trust me.... they will rock the house.. and mayb tear down the ceiling...

left early for thomson class..... with jade and sasha stayin behind..... urm.... classes today... Cb gt 12 pple... yeah.... all r advanced n mostly regulars... so quite alot are turning... in fact.. i forget routine.. brought in my tango step earlier... but lucky manage to save myself.. while the members dunoe.... hehe..... and they were marvellous bah.... i really salute them.....

kb... 8 pple.. nt bad though.... defiNitely better than last wk..... and they say tiring... but i dunoe is it really the fact... where do i stand.... i gt no idea..... i am nt worried of anythin other than this in perhaps......

my heart is heavy... sinkin.... thumping.... wakin up each day tinkin of so many things.. of wat will happen... wat happen if this or that and etc..... dunoe lah........ i never expect things to turn out such a way... i never... but then u r makin things worse right now..... why cant pple be more receptive.... if i knew... i would nt have told you anythin... i regretted it badly...... sianz............... best wishes to u......my best regards.....

Guess only my parents would know me the best bah... in terms of my character and attitude.... they were talkin to my relatives juz nw.. and true enough... they Knew... i am those who dun express my feelings... neither would i let others know... i tend to keep everythin to myself... if nt in perhaps over here, at my blog... perhaps thats jz me bah...... i am not those who will be able to interact in big group or even to do solo demo and etc..... argh!!

Anyway... i enjoyed myself alot today wor..... despite having min. sleep fro last nite DND..... i still manage to pull myself up to go thomson..... for my fav. 9.30am HILO class.... perhaps they are my kind as well... all r regulars.... had seen them every week... and they are cumin so often... hehe.... and today... they some sort "stressed" me... in the senese whereby..... i am running out of routine up on stage... hahA.. cuz they are too PRO... i guess so.. so i tell them... they do 1 more round... while i tink.... but then i jz wack on 1 routine...... and play on it..... and as usual... they scream and shout during the classs.... yeah yeah.....

Then went home... but along the way gt des's sms..... nid to help her cover class.. at the same time was sorting out some issues of HILO training..... so in the end.. did a swap.. cover for des at EP... and she will do back the LO at woodlands tmr......

Over at EP.... guess its worth goin over bah..... cuz they were real happy to see me..... and one claimed "Luv the class and say she nids instructors like me to help them"... partly she gettin married.. so yup... and they were askin why din i teach in EP... urm.... to me, indeed i am happy to hear all these remarks bah.... cuz i know i am improving and doin gd....... but on the other hand, there is nothin much for me that i can do.... i can only do well for all the classes that are allocated to me... i guess so.....

Feelings are hidden.. but if you are willing to open up, your partner muz be willing to open to listen to you as well... This is wat i tink...... but then.... we wun knOw...... the r/s i hold with everyone is so unique and strange.. but then i will still treasure each and everyone... yeah!!!!

YEah... i am back home... fro Amore DND... urm....... not much to comment... but then my head is very giddy.... these few days i guess my blood sugar is low again..... nid to intake more sweets and etc.. to keep myself in top peak condition.. or else may nid to get pple to cover my class ya.....

Quite a number of people dress up in cowboy or cowgirl costume.. quite interesting... have pple singing... includin donald and boyz..... and games too... erm... there is a particular segment for best dressed costume.. got pulled up on stage ya.... urm.... bcuz of the whip.......

Perhaps its jz my personality... doesnt seem to be able to blend into interaction when there are too many pple.. i am more to myself... i guess..... pple who kNow me will Know.. if nt i jz stone down there... and thats wat happened basically lah........

My head is in pain.. giddy giddy... i dun feel gd loh.... haix.. dun ask me why.. i dunoe hw to explain lah...................................................

School here n there... up up down down... classes so far.... cardio aerobics classes are picking up.... in the sense... my members are able to turn with me or sometimes on their own too.... and more feedback are cumin to me directly also.... thats something i like it.... and perhaps some feel my class abit xiong... so for back2back classes... by the time 2nd one.. most of them were half dead.. but still struggling...... and they say they enjoy..... and ensure they do cum...
Tink my greatest worry is still KB bah.... urm.... so yah....... there it goes......

Even though to myself... i know that i am not able to tell you how i feel or wat i feel...... but then i Know i am tryin my very best bah........ i am waitin for the right time or right chance to tell u.. hopefully u dun hear fro others....... i dunoe leh....... but then but then.... arh... dunoe wat to say....

Giddyness.............

I seem to be tellin alot of pple of the same issue.. and they are XXX pple... i guess so.... am glad that everyone is out there to listen to me... suggestions do help... but limitations are there too..... ever ranked KB as my top fav... but yet i am at nowhere when cumin to teach... yet the most un-confident NB... yet turns out to be my favourite and best class so far.... Wats cumin up all by... i dunoe..... they are new.. and i am new too.. all of us grow together... i hope time is sufficient for me... i hope so... i am pretty worried in some case or another.......

Who is out there to listen to me..... 2 pple ask me to ask him this qn.. but i am stoppin myself.. bcuz of limitations...... i cant disclose over here... but i Know i am tryin my very best... i dun wish to tell anyone..... its only for u to find out and for you to kNow.....

When pple drift.. it could be due to alot of reasons... i chose nt to reply to her sms last NIte... nt bcuz i agree that i had walked out of her... in fact i din... i jz wanted to give both of us some space in perhaps... she hadnt been havin time to herself.... she has been scarificing so much on others... tis shouldnt be this in fact... we live to be happy.... we live to luv ourselves too..... we dun live bcuz of others...... even though there could be a strong attachment....

I ever told u before... if one day anythin had happened and i left... the only reason could be bcuz of cheryl... but tis time is nt her..... in fact, to me its for ur own gd... its for urself..... try picturin urself in the scenario of havin time to urself alone...... and stop tinkin of weird issues...... and havin the word "trust" does not mean that we have to disclose all issues..... if we hadnt trust one another, we wouldnt have talked to one another too.... and i wouldnt have told u so many things too......

I know i am still concerned for u... but yet i Know i cant be with u 24hrs everyday..... due to all reasons includin school and amore...... sometimes we have to learn to solve things on our own.. as individuals and nt rely on others....... we can care n be concerned.... but back to square.. the problem is still urs... either u solve or smash it....... u r the decider..... like u Know... some issues are still in my mind...... and its only me myself and i who can help myself... no matter hw many pple i am talkin to... no matter who i talk to.. back to square its still ME ME n ME>.... no one else...

I dunoe whether u will be seein tis or understand what am i sayin anot.... hopefully u would not get the wrong meaning....... currently, i dun wish to do all these... but i am down with all these options... i am sorry if i am doin tis...... but then.. i jz wish u r happy in doin ur own things.......
We want you to be happy as urself..... remember wat i say " U ARE WHO U R"... so BE URSELF>>>>

Had been spendin alot alot of money... wah.. tink i nid to rob bank... but then back to tinkin.. i dun anyhw spend also ah.... spend 200 on CNY clothes.... then another 130 on gym wear..,. bought a pair of adidas pants n top.... looks nice.. wearin on upcumin wk..... then wat else huh...... abt tis and tat

this wk plus... i had been talkin to quite a number of pple..... two key pple too..... hope i din create a disaster..... i hope.. but those are wat i see and tink.... hope you two understand as well...... cuz u 2 are adults.... so i guess u should.. and wun get the wrong idea...

He attended my class on sat.... urm.. i dunoe why... but i am not to myself... that is defiNitely not hw i usually conduct the class.... i jz find myself OFF.... guess i am nervous or wat bah... i dunoe.....but then i kNow i could have been better n so on lah..... but doin fine...

SUN morning.. today is another day or even the highest day that i have... cuz the 9.30am class.... is gettin better... and today they scream with me.. luff with me.. talk to me and etc.... enjoy the class with them... and we jz did alot of things ah..... luv them lots.. cuz they kNow i go there jz to teach 1 class in the morning.. and tats it.. thank you for brightenin me up......

TIs tis that tat... tis tis tat tat.. still in a mess with my school stuff... somethin dun seem to go very right lah....... i dunoe wat is it.. waitin for school reply... till now nothin cumin back.. irritated......

I do not kNow why also... but then i feel i am nt to myself at times.... sometimes i wonder wat is the feelin of being alone? What is the feeling when no one cares for u, no one show concern..... wats the feeling... u experienced b4...... i dunoe lah......

I dun open out so easily to pple.. esp. some things i dun feel like talkin... i will jz avoid the issue.... u cant bug me.... esp. on issues that will hurt other feelings.. i hate to shatter pple's dream or heart n etc...... Even though i kNow i cant change some things... but its jz like tat.... learn to accept and follow......

thank you thank you thank you...... u have been there for me.... thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess i am not to myself bah.. jz wanna be alone alone n alone.. i dunoe why lah... dun feel good...

I am tired.. wo lei le.. wo zhen de lei le..................

IN the small little corner, there sit a ger called weishi. SHe is feeling numb and weird. For the 1st time when she teaches class, she wasnt really to herself. She jz do watever she tinks. She has to learn how to entertain everyone. Yet surprisingly, members approach her and ask her tons of questions. Is that a gd sign? I dunoe..... Lost lost...

You are back.. yes u r... but funni thing... why is it that when i see u.. i tink of my parents.. is it bcuz i always relate you to be on super close terms with ur mum... or wat..... i dunoe.. and that moment i jz feel like huggin under my mum's arms.... i dunoe leh..... urm......

Time to be alone.................... i dun wish to treat u in tis manner.. but then.. i dunoe...

Today u asked me how am i feeling.. Hope i am doin fine.... Am i doing fine? AM i doing good. I dunoe. Classes maybe yes, but connection among me i dun tink so. I seem to be affected by alot of issues.. and tinking..... tis tis that that.....

I am feeling alitle trapped... hidden at one corner. U cant feel me, u cant touch me.... but i am out there.... out of the blue, i dont feel like talkin to pple... out of the sky... i dont feel like doin things.... other than being in the studio.

Today, she told me something... someone is leavin.. and its internally... i dunoe who is that... but i kNow its nt these few..... i dunOe... somehow or another... i wasnt carryin myself to go EP to teach..... even though i want to....... too many things up in my mind.. i cant find the key to the lock....... slightly messed up routine jz nW... bcuz i am distracted by the lady... and i am tinkin somethin else... i cant bring my emotions in and connect with the members.. but thank you to them for these few wks.. u gals had been great esp. sasha who started off by shouting.. thaNks to her.....

i dunoe lah........................ i feel that i am in a mess.................. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dun ask me why am i not right... dun ask me tis and that.. i dunoe hw to answer... but i know I AM IN A BIG MESS RIGHT NOW!!!

Honestly speaking.... i dun feel good lah.... i cried to sleep last nite... also dunoe why... -perhaps is bcuz of u.... seeing the way u r now.. seeing the life of you... i dun feel good as being your fren.. i feel helpless... i had tried means and ways... talked to u.. showed actions... but nothin seems to help lah..... i feel worn out... but i know i still nid to do somethin out for u. at least for the fact seein that u are still doin well.. it really aches me....

HAIX>>>>>>>>>> Dunoe lah....................................

Today.....i thought that i did quite a good job in my evening class... after the tinkin over the wk... of my emo-ness..... i thought i deliver something good.. re-edit my routine.. manage to make the members high abit..... no so complicated routine and stuff...but hearing the words..... i dun feel v. good.... didnt see someone perspire after 15mins as much as she could.. tellin me she only burn like 100 calories from the 2 classes... i feel down... seriously down.... i tried so hard.. i really tried.... but apparently i dunoe... the words blunted out from my mouth jz nw was like.... i also dunoe.. sometimes seein u travel all the way.. yet dun see u enjoy.. i wun feel good... i dunoe whether should i ask her to continue cum to support.... or to do her own workout....... what should i do... i really dunoe lah................... some knOw i am dreadin abit here n there... even though i dun wish to....... but then i am tryin my very very best.... i dun blame anyone for not shouting or showing some action... but at least i saw that they are all DOIN the routine.. and smiling.... and they r enjoying...... tats something i oreadi feel good...... I dunoe lah.................... i wish u r happy.. i wish u enjoy... i wish this... i wish tat... but i dunoe hw to satisfy every single one of u out there... I AM GREEDY!!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you are down and troubled by your academic matters.. but wat else can i say... things done had been done.. hw to undo it...... its jz a few more wks..... IF only tis tis tis.... but then i am one who dunoe hw to console.. and tis is academic matters.. i am nt the principal... i can decide and solve things out.. i can only be there to listen to you........ i dunoe lah... i am lost........

School startin.. i am dreadin too.. i dun like school... u know u know u know.. its a struggle to me... jz to go school... who also wants to spend more time on other things n stuffs.... than jz school alone... no one wishes to... but we are up to no choice at times.................... perhaps i am emo due to school bah....................... i nid a sea... listen to the breeze..... see the waves.... 1 up 1down...... relax and calm myself........

Seeing you back.. hearin your voice.... it somehow eases me..... perhaps so many things had happened... and i feel tat i nid to be re-occupied back again..... it somehow is there lah......i feel i am like the sandwich... in the middle... neither here nor there... i can never be at the extreme end.... i can only be in the middle... i dunoe lah..... i Know u know... we all Know.. even though u r back.. but sometimes i hope things remain in such a way..... thurs... i luv thurs.. but will thurs be always as happy as it should be..... i dunoe...i dunoe.... i feel lost.... i dunoe wat is goin to happen at the very nxt hour, nxt min or even nxt second.......... but then i luv every single sec that i spend with anyone of u out there.... treasure me jz like a present... or even the bear that is under your arms.... i luv to be tucked.......

P.S: WHERE IS MY CHIP????? I dun wish to buy u on impulse... i dun wish to..............................

IN A MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUNOE WAT AM I TINKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIANZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dunoe why.. every sat i am jz so so so so tired.... why huh... i dunoe.... i dun mind goin down... but after the class... i jz feel so tied down... so tired.. in ache n pain......

i begin to ponder... u knOw.... why isnt the number increasin? Is it that my class only caters to the regulars? not so much to the newcomers? I am tinkin tinkin n tinking....... so weird so funni....

enjoyin myself up on stage.... esp. when i do replacement at other outlets...... i mean aerobics ah.. bcuz i get to do what i want... i can breakdown faster.. do tis and that faster.... and not so draggy... for example.. tis morning... enjoy the class... saw the members enjoying so much... and they r turnin with me as well.. despite its woodlands class... where they dun really like to turn.. but they did it with me.. kickboxing.. the class started off not shouting.. but thankfully.. warmed them up... after haf hr... final more n more pple are shouting... and can see them enjoying.... and esp. till i play baby i'm on fire.. everyone is SO SO SO HIGH!!! including myself...... but too bad... i am not takin the class permanently.... so... when will i see them again... i dunoe.......

suddenly jz begin to tink n ponder..... does it mean that i want something else or wat? I dunoe.... sianx.......... i wish to tell jenni mummy something.. but i am always afraid of havin the 2nd feeling.... haix.. wat should i do..................

school is starting... tis n tat... tis and that... i gettin so sian..............3 more semesters to go. how many months.. equal 15 mths........... i still gt to endure on....................... hang on there........ haix............

cant wait to return back for normal amore classes at nxt wk............................ i miss the classes..... getting emo.......................................

lastly, congratulations to sasha for passin her aic exams..... great job done ger........ hehe... new embarkment... time to move on wor...... but dun stress.. enjoy the final semester at work..... baby van returnin back to work... know she tired.. but wat to do............................... hang on there...

what should i blog today??? i also dunoe... cuz nothin much happen though...

spend my time.. accompanyin pple i guess.. fro one up on her bf.. to then attend class.. then to cannot remember routine.. and then to dinner and finally to grocery shopping..

but i know I NID A MASSAGE!!! I am freakin tired.. perhaps tmr.. i will jz go and get pple to do it for me.. achin fro top to bottom.. cannot stand le.... pain here n dere.. aww.... and my legs are so tight..........

These 3 wks.. finally cumin to an end.. i can finally do wat i want to do......... yeah.... so so so happy...... woohoo!!!!

She feels that i am drifting away from her... She feels that i am isolating her... I can sense that she feels i am trying to move away fro her... but then i am not bah...

Too many things out in my mind... and i know i am those who cant give in to a person 100% truthfully and totally I am someone who try to treat everyone equally, other than giving her loved ones xtra. My time is in limited span. 24hrs a day, i tink its never enough for me lah..... and my xtra time not even to say. I can jolly well spend alot alot of time doin on 1 particular thing.. esp. in stuffs that i like... so dun blame me for takin my own sweet time...

I know she would want me to come out fro HQ today and mit her up, but apparently things dun work the way though. Partly, the cheque gt delayed, even till 5plus and at the same time, its such a sudden mit up... i rather to let the person knOw way before way... esp. when things are planned out.... and when i jz returned back fro BJ in less than 5 mins..... my legs didnt want to bring me back.. esp. when the person din tell me why... intention was to mit her at 5pm... but the sms at 3.40pm... was real disheartening...till i am jz lost for words.. and the reply back was like i break my promise or wat.. jz bcuz i din reply immediately at 3.40pm???.... and the fact is i am busy attendin somethin... away fro fone... and she din tell me she wasnt happy or wat lah.. dunoe lah..... but once i replied.. gt such a reply... i feel i am like wat.... i dunoe.... i've been tryin my ways, means and methods to get things goin.. but apparently the fire is burning too strong, till my extinguisher is not functioning... Useless now... i din know wat to do now... call fire engine or wat... leave the fire burning????? Ni nei nei........

I'm kinda disappointed in a way whereby i am being treated in a "coldly manner". The feeling isnt that fantastic, either is it marvellous. One of the main reason she knows it too.. once my school begin nxt wk, i have more things up on hand. Projects n Assignments... these are something that i nid to do.. and in perhaps rest too....... everyone around me says i am tired... and ask me to rest...even though i am ok.. once school begin, till nw i still cant comment anythin as school has yet to start lah... i have to try to do somethin....

I dunoe lah...... tis is lame and ridiculous in my dictionary..... i know i cant b there forever ah.... not that i dun wan to... bcuz i jz cant get myself................................ i am nt a bullet train..... i like to take things wols n steady....... Patience is one of the virtue to success and completion of task....

Achin achin achin.. am i turnin old? Urm...... i dunoe.. hahA....

Mon went over to BJ to cover class... HILO... urm.... always luv to cover replacement class for HILO.. bcuz i get to do what i want to do.. such as turn and etc.. cuz right nw i cant do them in my permanent thomson classes.... as most of them r new members... but glad to say.. all of them are improvin fast.. and i am beginning to see members turning as well... and i mean they r new members....

then it was raining.. gt drenched abit..... met jenni for lunch.... had a long chat with her over the meal... talked alot.... esp. on sensitive issue...... i know i am in no position to discuss the issue.. but then sometimes we will jz talk over it.....

saw jade... and we went over to BJ to use the studio...... practise hilo with jade... in fact i am her participant.. gave her comments and etc... we are always learning fro one another.. then got back to HQ..and van. msg sayin she was at BJ... when i jz got back... diao... no intention to go back... as I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE CHEQUE... takin ancient time...... but dun blame them as they r new.......

then wait n wait n wait.... tink of routine... listen to music and etc.... but was then behind the area talkin to jenni and claudia.. again.. its another long talk...... discussin many issues ah......... again... i cant say here.........

was so tired to get myself carried on... then drag myself to EP to teach KB.... till nw i dunoe lah... i would luv to teach Bong's class.. but then the tension is there always.. wanted to deliver a gd class always...... the WOW factor that is something that i always keep in my mind.. HAve i WOW my members after each class.. in either routine, way i carried myself, overall workout and etc..... i would reflect back....

THe KB went well.. i guess.. minor hiccups... started off fumblin awhile...... then gan chiong here n dere.. but after awhile.. when i begin doin my main routine... it really gets so much better.... cuz i tink i have oreadi warmed up le..... so yah....... feel comfortable le bah.. and get to interact with the members.... and THEY SHOUT!!!! YEs....... so happy for it... bcuz tats something i waitin to hear...... then comments such as thank you for the gd class..... its a great workout... and etc.... nid such encouragement bah....... since i am still new to KB.....

and then conclude.. i lost my voice le...

Is this an emo entry? I hope no... recently, quite alot of issues had been occurring among the friends among me. But wat can i do as a friend of them? Be there to listen to their worries, be there to show them comfort and support? Learn how to be brave in front of them, to minimize their worries. What can i do exactly?

Case 1:
We have been trying to help her in solving her problem. This issue has been on-going for quite some time. But yet, due to some circumstances and constraints, this issue is never solved. BUt yet, i know right now this strong ger is trying her best to get out of the situation. But i hope she is not hiding anything from anyone. If she wants to solve the issue, she nids to open out and speak the truth. ANd also, as mentioned patience is one of the keys to success. I hope she sustain long, and recover fast. I will be there for you always.

Case 2:
These couple of mths.... things happen.. people change.. someone leave and etc... We miss one another, we luv one another. Without your presence, i feel a sense of loss. Without you, i feel there is a missing competitor. Without you, it juz look very weird and off ah.. I miss you. ABle to see you really brightens me up. Thank you for the conversation and support. Luv ya. We will see one another soon, i guess. As for the other one, should be back soon... lookin forward.... better back with new stance for us..... Ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Case 3:
Somehow the distance or the gap is valid. I wont say i dun like your class or etc. But i feel everyone has different style of conducting a class. I respect yours and i hope you respect mine too. Even though i find some of your movement may be dangerous at time, but i know you also want the members to enjoy the class. My feedback and comments are juz general. You could take into consideration and see how you can work on it. Too many things have been happening. I am learnin to take things one at a time. But sometimes, i feel stubborness and wildness are not listed in my dictionary. We have to learn to accept and make changes cum adaptation in order to have peace. By creating a scene or war may not help, in fact it will worsen. Not directly shooting at things, but this is my personal feelings. Dun be emo if you read.
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I guess we need to learn to listen to our bodies at times. We need to learn how to protect ourselves. When it is the time for us to stop, we should stop. Dun anyhow wack your body. Learn how to luv your body more. Seeing the news of the comedian passing away, Had some emotional thoughts on my own. Why are some of us pushing so hard? Regardless is in studies, teaching class or even workout. IS IT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? Wouldnt it be juz good to learn how to enjoy ur life, do what you wish and like to do and be happy and contented? Why are we forcing ourselves? LEarn to relax and breathe at the same time.

Reading the newspaper.. i luv this line... " Once you find yourself doing in a career that you enjoy, you are no longer working".... Is this sentence true? I guess different people have different thoughts. As for me of now, definitely it is true. This career of being a fitness instructor is never easy. Alot of consideration. HAve to learn to accept feedback, grow as you learn, exchange pointers and etc. Not all the times are good too. But if you are really enjoying what you are doing, you will luv tis job even more. You will find it more like a routine rather than a hassle. Thats my thoughts.

This morning i dun feel good at all. Wake up shivering in cold. Really in cold. Despite the hot shower, it doesnt help much. Wanted to take MC but the class is in the morning. So dragged myself to take the train.. up on the train.. feeling giddy and etc.. but thankfully the sleep does help alittle. Arrived in EP... some members have arrived. Feeling at first wasnt that good becuz i dunoe the pple and then all seem not wake up yet ah... have to keep sayin good morning to them.... soon i begin to see familiar faces and ease abit....

Not a bad class taken i guess so.. the class begin to "cool down" when we reachin the matwork of NB... where i also begin to start telling them lame jokes and keep them goin. I hope i cant motivate them much, so i begin talkin crap to them.... luckily they respond ah.. esp. two particular members..... ABT.. i was quite amazed by 1 lady. I dunoe why.. but then she jz inspired me somehow....

And this is finally one of the 1st time i enjoy myself in HILO, after so many weeks. I guessed reason is becuz i am not used to wols class. So when cumin to really take my time to break down the routine and not doing the turn, it does gets abit off. But then i am coping it well. Not grumbling, but thats juz me. The class is pretty high and people respond to me when i asked them whether they are OK... and want one more round anot... Yeah.... it was indeed a FUN but then yet a super tiring long session. Members approach me and ask me where am i teachin, while some also ask me what songs i play. I guessed or i had really enjoyed myself alot at tis day. Then dragged myself off to thomson. 75mins of journey. Sit till butts almost gone... All new faces or except one... always luv the kb segment.. dunoe why.. and jz do ah.... and go home.. i am damn tired by then...... jz wanna rest my body...

Cumin back to think.. i have been teaching for the past 2 mths and 1 day in exact. Things really changed, including me. For the good or the bad, i dunoe lah... And surprising, 3 segments, KB NB AEROBICS, guess which is the one i fare best. I can say its NB.. something that i find myself improving alot and members like it. Despite there is one -ve feedback fro kovan fro C's members, but then jz learn to accept it. Yet on the other hand, others like and comment that they do prefer such type of class. So for which is good? Its subjective. Aerobics is still doing fine i suppose. But nid to work more on routine, i suppose. Seem to lack something, but i cant figure it out. Kickboxing, so far only taken two classes, till now i cant comment much. Still have to keep going.

Life changes. I dun ask for more, but i wanna happiness in both me and you you you and you. All my loved ones. I want you all to smile and not frown. Stay happy. BE there always for you. Thankful and grateful for attending my class, giving me feedback and showing me support. Thank you deep from my heart. Do take care.

Cheers!

P.S: Dun mean to be emo.. but jz some thoughts after talking to people and listening to what others say and media....

Been sleepin like a pig daily... and its like sleep till i wake up.... even i set alarm clock.. i am jz freakin tired i guess.. haix.... wat to do.... i dunoe why i am tired....

I am so sianz.... mood wasnt very good also.. recently... so many things happen i guess.....
spend my morning on comp.. jz refuse to get off my room..... bcuz i jz dun wan lah... so rot rot.. till happy then go PM.....

KB... erm..... i dunoe why.... i jz do lah... mayb bcuz yah....... but glad to see iris, debbie and van.. but still short of someone... I CANT WAIT FOR NXT THURS...........

then go hans.. chat chat talk talk...

these 3 wks spend alot of time with my family.. also gd lah......

i dunoe i dunoe i dunoe.........

wo de xin qin heng bu hao. Zai 2008 nian de di er tian, ju ran you zhe me duo shi fa shen... er qie ta men ju ran fa shen zai duan duan de yi liang de xiao shi. wo bu shi shen qi, bu shi shang xin, er shi gan dao zuo ren zhe me na me de xin ku ni. wei le ni men, wo tui san tui shi, er ju ran bie ren jiu zhe yang guo qu le.

wo bu shi yi ge mu ou. wo bu shi rang ni men kong zhi de. wo shi you gan qing, you wo zhi ji de zhu jian de. ni men ke yi bu yao rang wo zhe me yang ma? ke yi mah?

hui dao jia, ye mei you she me hao shi. wo bu gao xin lah.......... jian le yi ge tou fa..... que yue bian yue zao....... ni nei nei................. 2008 nian wo jiu yi ku le.............................


helpless.... lost...... i dunoe where am i now.... i dun wish things to happen in such a way lah...... i hope not only my thinkin and thoughts will nt come true... i jz dun wish such things to happen in front of my eyes....... i dun like i dun like i dun like..............

I wanna go home.... and hug into the arms of my mum........................ juz like a teddy bear............

H a P p Y N e W Y e A r 2 0 0 8
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A brand new yr..... firstly happy new yr to all my luved ones... hope everythin sailin smooth.... okok.. pls take care in yrself.. watever u do... work hard for ur dreams n goals... jiayou.....

luv ya lots!

Hugs,
Weishi aka Edlyn

P.S: spent the last day of 2007 and 1st day of 2008 with 2 lovelies... van and deb.... thank you!!!