Yeah... i guess i am happy bah... and mayb over the moon... so wat had been so happy for me..... nothin much basically.....

from mon... trainin.. or in fact is supposed to be rehearsal.... then did awhile nia.. cuz due to some unforeseen circumstances........ then went to replace class at kovan... 3 members.. 1st time full class... then nt stressed... tats d worst part... and i tink i did fairly well.. other than gettin abit off beat.... or forgetting 1 part... but bcuz the pple r so NEW>.. i did a super duber long breakdown and super haf time.. and i am glad tat they can follow... lucky.. thaNks goodness......

then.... after takin the class damn tired... dunoe why.. jz want to go eat... i am hungry.... went back to hq to return somethin.. then go eat...... machiam glutton.... then went to take my hotel class... thought someone will b there.. diao... 1 person again.. end up..... go back after 15mins.. sianz......

but then... i gt news fro jenni.... and in fact was happy bah.. cuz some gd news here n there..... so like tat loh.......

then tues n wed.. basically r rehearsals for KB thomson roadshow... tiring....... one word... but then i also damn stoned... wasnt smiling much... they say i damn serious.... but then tats me bah... sometimes i jz like to focus...... and memorize...... then i forget the timin of my class... and end up i din turn up.... so jialat.... and our projects are given out during lect and none of my group members turn up... best rite...... includin me.... but lucky the lecturer is ok with it... phew.... and we escape....

then gt back my project grades... woohoo.. gt an A-........ can pull back my mid term grades... so happy...... geo module r good...... nice tutors........ and adding on....... i managed to ask B abt the questions tat are in suspense for long... and glad that things do turn out well. otherwise it would b disappointment....... nw i jz await bah......

and wed evening.. went to replace my another class.... in wl... wooohoo.. abt 20-30 pple.. i din count... but roughly.. mayb sun then go and ask..... and i tink i did much better... gt intensity... options... did haf time when necessary as quite a number cant catch up.. and gd thing pple can memorize my routine.... and also i din fumble when the mic went no batt..... and some of jet's regulars are present too.. and give me thumbs up... happy for it.. but still room for improvement ya.......

i set high expectation.. but then will try my best to achieve...... and i told B. before too...... but then sometimes things may jz nt go ur way ah.... so like tat.... argh..... keep strivin and we will b there.... jiayou.....

Had been so busy and tired recently.. till i looked completely like a zombie.... is tis wat i deserve or is this wat i want... i dunoe...

recently... projects... tests... based on nus academic.. then in amore... busy with doin cool down classes.. n also audition to teach LO and HILO classes..... and also adding is thomson roadshow... tired..... tired... weishi aka unknowger aka edlyn aka weisee is tired... strugglin abit.... till she feels like goin to chill and drink... diaoz hor....

Anyway... NUS update... urm... nothin much.. cleared almost all my project... left 1 more nia.. and funni thing is... i score an A for one of my projects.. its an individual assignment... hahA.. never expect to get an A... cuz thought its impossible..... but then its a write-up abt a fieldtrip to farms in Singapore.. haHA.. mayb i am v. attached to farms... so i can do better.... other than tat.. i tink nothin much.. cuz.. my life almost evolves around amore lah...

IN AMORE
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How to say ah.... yah... 1st and for all... i had officially passed my AIC course... nw an official instructor le.... woohoo.... and can take LO and HILO.... and adding on... i had also passed the audition of AMore too.. at currently.. i am a freelance instructor in there....yup.. can only do LO and HILO... will be undergoing training for KB and NB bah..... and then proceed on..... and happy news is i will b havin perm class soon... cant release details so soon.. but then soon lah.. check it out...... happy happy.....

I had alot of things to tell and let bong know... but then everytime i see him face to face.. i do not dare to talk... i dunoe is it bcuz i respect him or wat ah... but then... things jz dun cum out.... argh... saded....... gt things to ask him... but eventually... its jz like tat..... it din turn out that well as expected.. sianz...

MY BOY
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Hw to describe tis.. 1 mth with him... pretty much happy... but also alot of feelings... i dunoe hw to explain.. and dun wish to explain at here..... cuz its a mixed feelings.. i dunoe is it bcuz i wanted all those.. but he din give me or wat.... or is it bcuz i find some elements is lackin btw us.... i seriously dunoe......tats abt it.....

And so... my life is getting busier..... cumin wk... thomson roadshow.. alot of things nt settled..... argh.. routine.. outfit.. everythin basically.. then adding on.. cumin wk replacin jet's class.. mon, wed... sun replacin clarisse..... still pendin for thur jasmine class.. to accept anot?? i dunoe.....
MANY THINGS!!!! and also... the hotel class is still there for me.... mayb for the mth of nov... yah... so like tat.....

For the past week... i wasnt happy... definitely not within my relationship... is abt the attachment that i had with my mentor... i am not angry with him.... but in fact.... i am very glad and happy that i have him as my mentor..... he is really v. patient with me... in fact, tis is the very 1st time i see him so patient... he din scold me..he din say me.. and he really guided me patiently..... thank you so much to him.......

Wed nite... i cried for the 1st time.... after i failed in my own expectations.. and his too... he din reprimand me... but did tell me which are the areas that i gone wrong... being a sensitive man.... he knows that i am not happy.. and told me to cheer up.. jz b4 he get off the train..... but then... i cried ah... on the train after that... and was told to do it for the 2nd time the nxt day after.....

Thurs..... was in school 1st...... then strugglin to smile in fact.... didnt mean to.. but then i nid to put on a brave front and avoid others from worrying fro me..... but once i got into PM Amore.... i cried under the thick towel..... and i shocked Van....... bcuz she sensed i am nt ok while she is havin CL inside.. and came out to see me...... i jz dun feel gd... i am worried and scared... so i cry again...... diao.. and dragged her to go makan with me.. we had a feast..... and i mean it... curry noodles.... 2 cold tofu... green milk tea.... red bean glutinous rice... siew mai... did i miss out anything.. then... went back to studio to practise... halfway through i am jz fed up with myself... for serious.. really fed up..... bcuz i jz cant get wat i want or wat he wants from me... idiot.. CRAP!... and then took the class again...... and damn it... things jz dun go wat i want.... but the patient mentor jz brought me to the side.. and taught me again... tis time round he tells me those things that he wants individually and taught me hw to say... appreciate it alot..... but he wanted me to do it again at the evening class....

Went over to bugis.. wanted to go and have a walk alone on my own.... but then i din want to worry the others....so i jz went with them... only had a drink and try to practise.. but then i jz couldnt get wat he want.... 3mins before class begins.. i told him that i give up... say i am not prepared.... and i dun wan waste time.... so i dun wan... and lucky i tell him tat....

but then... i cry again when i gt back.. so diao... jz damn disappointed with my ownself ah.... cuz i din expect things will turn out like tis... such a simple n easy thing.. yet i did like hell..... then ended up.... i am damn down.... in the nite i scared alot of pple.. esp. debbie n iris... they were v. worried for me.... super.... i am sorry for that.... i begin to lose my confidence.. lost my stand.....

fri.. went school.. super low mood.... then finally gt to mit Van.. who is there to cheer me up again.. thanks to her so much.. again i dragged her to eat..... diao hor... went kenny rogers... she really brighten me up..... and we eat green tea ice-cream... drink milk tea... and wat huh.. dunoe... but she really brightens me up alot.. and gave me the assurance....... and i went back in a better mode....

Sat... the day came.. i seem to drag myself to go workout... bcuz i am worried that i cant mit his requirements again.. almost cried when i reach... someone or i mean a member shelter me over.. cuz drizzling.. had a short session with her... and she is encouraging.. thank you....then din want to talk to anyone.. cuz i jz dun have the mood.... then time to take the cool-down session.....

started off super tensed up... he commented that he cant hear wat i am talkin.. say i am blabbering through again... but the main routine.. went pretty smooth.. jz that for the fact.. i shouldnt hold the members for too long bah.. today was much better than the previous few.....

IN conclusion.... i am really glad that i had made myself... bong.... the members and my loved ones to smile and enjoy the session with me... thank you v. much..... u had been my rainbow... which brightens me up... the songs are picked to depict my emotions.. and hope u all know what i am tryin to convey.... i am not push-up ger... but then.... i know we nid that too.....

and last but not the v. least... I HAD PASSED MY AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR COURSE OFFICIALLY!!! Thank you................... i luv myself and everyone and my boy too.... hehe....

and back to it... more challenges are up.....
1) Upcoming thurs cooldown.... i am supposed to talk but not do......
2) A full-class session to take... my ideal dream...
3) Amore new outlet... Thomson plaza..... roadshow on 4, 11, 18th nov..... involved in KB performances......

WHY DO you passed me??? the answer will b revealed on upcoming thursday as said by him... so check it out... woohoo......

What is the feeling to stand up on stage? Do you ever wonder? What is the kind of feelings that others will give up when u are up on stage? You never know. These few days, quite a couple of things happen to my loved instructors.... feel disheartened for them.. for the amt of effort that they had put in... for the amt of hard work... yet.. jz bcuz of some -ve issues... they were being shot.... wth hell....

I feel angry for them.. i feel sad for them... i understand the feeling of being shot by members when u under-performed... or when they feel that you should not be up on stage... like for example.... one lame member came forward and tell me " You are not suitable and cut out to take this class... You should not be here..."... for heaven sake... in the 1st place... you are nt v. gd... i dun see the reason why u still gt the cheeks to say me....... and if you cant follow my moves... i dun see you enjoyin urself durin his class... he might have the charisma.. but then..... everyone is there for a workout... so pls... give a chance to everyone..... no one blooms as a big flower lah....... and sorry ah.... to me.... i take feedback.. but constructive feedback..... and i will get myself to improve and correct... and prove it to u all.... I have my aims and targets set...i wun say it at here... in perhaps only sasha knows wat am i sayin..... and i goin to show it to u pple.... if u r nt happy when i take... jolly well.. dun turn up and show me an attitude face... i hate to see such faces..... idiot......

why are pple not recognized for their hard work..... idiot..... do u tink u can learn hw to crawl immediately when u were a baby.... din ur mother ever taught u repeatedly b4 i ever get to do it well... so pls... if u tink it is too fanciful... if u tink its too hard... work hard.. cum for more classes... dun based on 1 thing and jump into conclusion and shoot... and for those pple at the back..... i hate the feeling too... had u ever try to step into the shoes and put urself in the position of an instructor?

Do you know hw they feel? Do you see the pressure... I doubt u pple dun... bcuz u never appear in classes... do u tink it is so easy to be up on stage.. and teach and deliver the correct message and classes...... all u all know is jz reply back to the letter.. not defendin ur own pple... and jump into conclusion that they are bad..... pple say that they r rude.. class too fanciful and too complicated... pls.... i tink they did a gd job by telling pple that there are OPTIONS... understand anot... OPTIONS.. which means pple can choose to do or not to do... kns....... its these pple who jz want to do.. even u tell them to join u.... and if u raise ur voice alittle louder... they shoot back at u... wat the hell.... i am angry.......

Anyway to pple out there that i know.. i am alrite... really... jz dun feel good for my instructors.. i hate to see them behavin in such a manner..... they r nt enjoyin equal we r nt enjoying too... in any way.... i am happy for some stuffs...

was at bugis jz now for 7pm CB... some members approached me and asked whether am i takin the class... i am glad that they had enjoyed the class at last wk... and they do say that hoping bong will bring me back up on stage again...... esp. 1 member told me that last tues.. she accidentally happen to attend a class.. and gt a replacement.. sorry.. cant mention names bcuz it wasnt something gd in the 1st place.. while she is attending, she is thinkin and hoping that i am the one up on stage.... leading them instead... quite touched n happy to hear it.. but its somethin beyond my control ah.. bcuz whether i can go up on stage anot.. really depends on bong...i dunoe whether should i tell this to him.. seekin his permission to let me take a full class of his thurs.. after my attachment.. or wait till his members to feedback more to him.. requestin..... definitely if i improve.. i tink i am happy and they will b happy for me too... thank you to them for trusting me so much.. and givin me opportunities to showcase and lead them.......

In conclusion ah... we cant please everyone.. neither could we give in to every single pple out there.... but then we nid to live and enjoy what we do...... but i hope u all r happy... doubt yall will get to see all these posts.. unless u did a good search on the online engine.....

yAh yah..... memory space running low.. haha.... mayb processor as well.. time to upgrade my physical body hor... sasha??? lolx.... or mayb some fragmentation... if nt bits n pieces... lolx....

Some pple are just so fake... and when i say that, i am not talkin about the reflection of you... but the real self of you... pretending to tell you all the kind-hearted words.. but in the end... everything shoot from behind... but i am sorry to let u know that i had disappointed you... because i had never taken such unreasonable remarks into my heart.. not even touchin it.. if it is constructive.. yes... i will accept.. but then.. urs are not... too bad for u....

So far so good... and i dunoe hw is the situation right now.. but i know i am happy ah..... left with 2 more cool down, 2 pilates, 2 yoga and 2 step classes for me to attend.. and i would be done with my attachment le.... yah.. tats abt it...... and hopefully my kind-hearted mentor is pleased and satisfied with my performance....

Yah.... tats abt it.... everythin doin fine... i mean me and him ah..... tryin my very best to mit him.. and not to be tired in front of him too......

ok.. i am gone.. buaibuai....

For the past wk plus, i had been tied down by alot of things.... making me so tired..... But if wanna say major event... let me tink.... only a couuple or so....

1) I took a 45mins class... consisting of both warm-up and main routine... at bugis junction 7pm. Had a great time out becuz alot of things happen. For example, an hour before the class begin, he asked me to change quite a number of things... quite stressed by that... becuz i do not know whether i can create the changes anot.. so my mood quite swing all the way down... yah.. these 4 words r simple.. " Enjoy and Have Fun"... but once u r up on stage, its just so different.. u gt to consider every single factor....

Then... class begin.... perhaps lady luck is on me. At the initial stage of the warm up... ahh... i fumble abit.. gt lost in the music.. and i jz let the class know naturally.. which is equivalent to "talkin to the participants"... and everyone luff at me.... and then we just continue bah.... hahA...
Then he keeps doin wrongly.... at the front.. dunoe wat he do ah.. then some of the regulars luff at him... includin me... wahHAA..... but the funniest part came by the 35mins... i can sense the pain in my throat ah.... but then i try to endure.... think i am too "high" till i am screamin with my voice... damn jialat... and quite a no. of times i went "off-key".... making everyone luff at me.... hahA... until the peak of the joke is... i went almost voiceless..... til he asked me to shutup and drink water.... and so weird that i jz let the members to continue on their own naturally while i drink water..... but then drink water din help leh...... it jz pain.... keep on increasin the pitch of my voice.... till i couldnt even hear my voice....

But then back to square.... i am really happy.... bcuz i can really see everyone enjoying themselves... they were smiling, luffing... and good thing to know is.. they have a great workout... majority of the members can follow the routine.... which is the most impt thing.... hehe.... and feedback given by him was.... i can see he was happy... and he did comment that based on a new instructor to be able to deliver such class is oreadi very good... but still nid to improve on some other areas... e.g. my arm movements, no creativity and i know on my listening skills. Discover that i could hear the music that well.. sometimes will go off-beat, despite catchin back fast.....

2) Second issue is i am given the opportunity to cross over to an island called Pulau Tekong. To the guys, its a torture, but not for me.. Lolx... becuz i am goin over there to teach them. Just for half an hour. Gt this offer to go over to teach them kickboxin. NIce experience though, despite they were a kingdom of beasts. Luff at their coordination roblems..... luff at their ignorance and etc..... but most impt, welfare was real gd at there... gt escot to bring us fro 1 place to another... other than the washroom... lolx.....and we r well-paid too...

Was very thankful to have such lobang.. and i tink i am really doin so happily in this industry.... really enjoyin wat i am doin rite now.....but had been tiring myself out at everyday too.... havin little amt of sleep... but then doin well...

and last but not least, before i end my essay..... jz like to tell everyone tat.... i am thankful to have "him" with me from 29092007. Time to embark on a new relationship and learn to be a mature lady who will luv and treasure someone. Yah.. he treatin and protectin me well.. thank you.......