Since the Monday rehearsal, my heart has been thumping real fast. In fact, its faster the days that I cried. Is it the amount of pressure or stress that I had been loading on myself? Or the expectations that others and myself wanted on me? Perhaps every single little part plays a very important.


Frankly speaking, I am afraid. Afraid of failures, afraid of blackout, afraid of almost everything. The tension is up there. Everyone is so stressed up. Its damn obvious on their faces. But I just got to accept it, no matter what. There are people whose faces turn black. There are people who keep practicing. There are people who are panicking and there are people who are crying out there. The amount of efforts put in by these performers outweigh the output. All we wanted is JUST A GOOD PERFORMANCE. Tats the minimum criteria for being up on stage.


Yesterday, I spent my morning in A.F. HQ for some training. Indeed it was very beneficial. All I could say is Thank You to you. You were not paid to teach me. You were not paid to correct my mistakes. You were not paid to help me. But u offered it to me. Deeply appreciated! I like the introduction that you introduce me to J., which really motivates me to work harder.


Thank you to you guys who were singing praises for me. I am working hard, but I need to work even harder to outshine. I am afraid. Wanted to cry, but its enough for the past few days. These few nites just cant sleep, all bcuz my mind is about the performance and AIC. Hugs hugs hugs…. I need all these damn much. CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!